Thursday, November 3, 2011

The Mother of All Mothers

My mom is a wonderful, stubborn, spiritual, complicated woman. With her mind on spiritual matters a good majority of the time, she was always busy when I was young. Either running a van load of kids to Sunday School or Bible camp or going door to door inviting kids to vacation bible school. She is amazing.She and Dad have been to Africa on several mission trips throughout their life and can tell you fantastic stories of the people and their situations in Kenya, Nigeria, DRC, etc. She is constantly looking for ways for the women of those little villages to make money to support their families.

Mom was also the main teacher at our church's parochial school. I looked forward to 6th grade when I could attend and start calling my own mom Mrs. Johnson. Once I started at the school though, I soon realized that sick days were over with. Plus Mom knew what ALL my homework was so I wouldn't fall behind. And other kids in the school acted differently toward you if Mrs. Johnson gave them a bad grade on something...

She was the master of multi-tasking. Mom could be driving, going through a catechism lesson with one kid, drinking coffee and smack a kid for mouthing off in the back seat ALL at the same time. She is amazing.I have made to do lists that are patterned off of hers that she would leave for us during the summers when she'd have another job to run to and we were left on our own at home. There were 7 of us kids then and someone always over the age of 14 around. Anyway back to the to-do lists.

Here's one of mine... Do dishes, practice piano, vacuum the living room, fold clothes, clean your room. Then assign each kid something off the list and write their name next to it.

Here's one of Moms... Do dishes, practice piano, NO TV, do laundry, vacuum, paint the garage.

YES, paint the garage! One other time it was "side the house"... I think she was hoping for a miracle. Or for one of us to shine and actually do it.

She could tell by touching the tv set if we obeyed the No TV one or not.
Mom can't relax. She doesn't know how. When we had our first little baby, Mom came to visit and help out for a day. As I sat on the couch feeding the baby, Mom couldn't sit still, so she grabbed a bowl of soapy water and the knobs off the stove, sat and scrubbed them while we talked.

She sold World Book for years and even sold me our set of Encyclopedias and Childcraft books. No one had internet back then, so anytime you had a question about anything, she'd point you in the direction of the books. I have noticed that they come in pretty handy with my kids these days. Not often, but they're there if you need them. Especially when the internet is down.

After a major upheaval in their lives last year, Mom and Dad downsized to a small small house in a tiny town immediately next to their church. The garage is jam packed with the belongings that won't fit in the house and that Mom can't part with. Dad is going stir crazy.
Mom was diagnosed this fall with the early stages of dementia. It's one thing to never remember where you left your purse, because she's been like that all her life. But other things are cropping up that are making us kids worried. Dad tries not to let her drive anymore.

It breaks my heart to hear the odd little stories here and there about what Mom has said or done. or not done...
Hug your mom today.

9 comments:

slugmama said...

I'm sorry your family will have to go down the dementia road McVal.
It will be rough in ways you can't fathom now.
We've went there with Hubs mom.
At least you have a lot of family around you for support and help.

If you need to talk, I'm here. Hugs!

Sheila said...

AWWW, I am so sorry. Next time I see my mom, I'll give her a big hug. Thank you!

kshotz said...

Sorry to hear about your mom Val. She really is such a wonderful person...and that will NEVER change! I am thankful she has such a close and supportive family. I'm sure that will make a difference in the journey ahead for all of you. Let me know if you need anything!

Frances said...

Your mom sounds amazing! I will keep her in my prayers.

Michelle said...

Prayers for your mom. Dementia has affected my grandmother, so I realize how hard it is to watch it happen.

Sonya Ann said...

I love your mom just for making you and making me a friend.
You are so blessed to have her, I wish that I could say that I had a family like yours. Hug her for me!

Macey said...

I'm so sorry. That's such a horrible disease. :(
I think she sounds like my mom with the lists...paint the garage...side the house!
SERIOUSLY?! My mom DID make my sister and I HELP HER SIDE THE HOUSE!
That fun little hell week ended with tetanus shots for all!

Carma Sez said...

I teared up reading this. She seems like quite a lady.

A.Marie said...

Your Mother sounds alot like my own Mother...I wonder if they could possibly be related! :) I had to laugh when I read the part about painting the garage....LOL

I am also very sorry that you are having to travel the dementia road with your Mom. My family traveled that road with my Uncle (My Mom's youngest sister's husband). It can be a lonely road at times, but the road can also have joyful moments, also. It's the joyful moments that make the road bearable! (((((HUG)))))

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