Going Batty

Wow.  A whole day at home with just "work" work to do.

Actually, my breaks and lunch will be filled.  There are still branches to pick up and

I am determined to finish the flower girl dress.  It just needs a hem and I'll do the handwork this weekend.

Unfortunately I need to miss the sewing meeting this weekend.  But plan to sew all Sunday afternoon to make up for my loss.  I need to finish my dress on that day.  And maybe a doll dress for a certain flower girl gift.

BUT life is always throwing the curve balls, so who knows what I'll get done.

I only have so many bats.

Something reminded me....

Something reminded me of a tv show that I used to watch. And there can never be a reunion show because the main character died suddenly in real life the day after the final show was filmed. And yeah - I've shown you a clip before. That silly Irish humor!

Quotes from the Father Ted show.

*********

Father Ted: It's fabulous being a priest - think of all that comfort you bring to the sick and dying. They love it, they can't get enough of it!

**********

Father Ted: Ah, Sister Assumpta!
Sister Assumpta: Hello Father!
Father Ted: Dougal, Dougal, do you remember Sister Assumpta?
Father Dougal: Er, no.
Father Ted: She was here last year! And then we stayed with her in the convent, back in Kildare. Do you remember it? Ah, you do! And then you were hit by the car when you went down to the shops for the paper. You must remember all that? And then you won a hundred pounds with your lottery card? Ah, you must remember it, Dougal!
[Dougal shakes his head]
Sister Assumpta: And weren't you accidentally arrested for shoplifting? I remember we had to go down to the police station to get you!... And the police station went on fire? And you had to be rescued by helicopter?
Father Ted: Do you remember? You can't remember any of that? The helicopter! When you fell out of the helicopter! Over the zoo! Do you remember the tigers?
[Dougal shakes his head some more]
Father Ted: You don't remember? You were wearing your blue jumper.
Father Dougal: Ah, Sister Assumpta!

**************

Father Dougal: Well, Ted, as I said last time, it won't happen again.

**********

Father Dougal: Did you ever see that film, Ted, where your man has his head transplanted onto a fly, and the fly's head was transplanted onto the man?
Father Ted: Oh, yes... what was it called...?
Father Dougal: "Out Of Africa", I think. Anyway, your man has the head of the fly and he's chasing his wife all over the place and she's hiding the jam and everything so he won't get stuck in it...
Father Ted: I'll have to stop you there, Dougal.
Father Dougal: Yes, Ted?
Father Ted: No reason. I just have to stop you.

Have a great weekend!

Tales from the Dad-side Part Tres

Mom & Dad's 50th wedding anniversary about 1.5 years ago. These are all their kids & spouses and grandkids, minus just a few.

All the best stories come in threes, right? Star Wars, Mad Max, Lord of the Rings... Well, I guess this is my dad trilogy... I do have lots more... but those will wait. This is my grand finale for now.

Hope you haven't JUST eaten a meal...

As you know from yesterdays posts, one and two, my dad is a kidder... At that same job, the office life was kind of a mixture of the Office tv show and Office Space. I think the writers on those shows must have consulted my dad and should probably have used this story for an episode...

The office where my dad had a cubicle was really large, with a huge plant connected behind surrounded by corn fields out in the countryside. One day, my dad's boss called him and Jack into his office. He was smelling something funny in his office and thought that maybe a mouse had died somewhere in it. He was late for a lunch meeting and could he and Jack please look around while he was gone and get rid of it? SURE....

So Jack and Dad pulled out file cabinets, looked in every nook and cranny, finally finding a dead mouse in a corner behind something big. Dad, being the joker that he is, decided that maybe a prank was in order.

On boss-man's desk was a huge deep pencil cup jammed packed with pens and pencils. Dad picked up the whole lot of them as one and dropped the mouse into the cup. Then jammed the whole lot of pens and pencils back down into the cup...

Later that day, boss-man called Dad and Jack back into his office and still complained of the mouse smell. They said that they had found one behind a file cabinet and it was no longer there.

The next day they happened to be a meeting in that office again. The smell still lingered. A particular habit of boss-man had skipped Dad's mind and he almost threw up when boss-man pulled a pencil out of the cup and fiddled it around in his mouth and on his lip. Boss-man was a pencil licker... Saying nothing but swallowing more frequently, Dad and Jack suffered through the rest of the meeting.

At lunch when the boss-man was out, Dad went back in and removed the offensive rodent. It is unknown whether he washed the tips of the pens and pencils.

Tales from the Dad-side Part Dos

As you know from yesterdays post, my dad is a kidder... We love to hear him tell stories of his pranks and life as a young man. At that same job, the office life was kind of a mixture of the Office tv show and Office Space, the movie. And my dad was the Tim character, who liked to play with people who annoyed him...

One morning when Dad woke up, he found a hole in his pillow and some feathers sticking out. He suddenly hatched a brilliant plan and stuck a few in his suit pocket. During the day, he left one on the sink in the restroom and in a urinal. After a couple days of feathers showing up in random spots, people started asking questions and wondering where these feathers were coming from.

After a couple weeks, the boss-man started getting angry after finding one on his office chair and coffee cup. He figured out that there was no chicken or goose running around loose in the office or plant and it MUST be a practical joker... Which of course it was.
The random feather deliver got the name "Feather Phantom". This went on for a while longer until Dad decided that he would just let the Feather Phantom disappear and no one would ever know... until now...

Hopefully none of his former co-workers will see this! Next post... Mouse patrol...

Tales from the Dad-side Part Uno

My dad is kidder... When I was a young girl he worked for a company where he had to do a lot of traveling. With 7 kids at the time, you would too right? Well, he only had to fly out for a few days maybe once a month. But he had to share a hotel room with a co-worker, so he still didn't get the bathroom without someone knocking on the door...

I'm the cute littlest one... Shoot! Now you've seen me topless!

So anyway, he's traveling with Jack, a good friend and co-worker. During the trip, Dad is telling Jack that he is a sleepwalker so if Jack should happen to see Dad walking around in the night, don't be concerned and seriously, don't wake him up. Maybe guide him back to his bed, etc. Dad brought up the sleepwalking a few different times on the flight.

He is also a light sleeper, so during the night Jack needed to get up and use the restroom and Dad happened to wake up. While Jack was in the restroom, Dad grabbed the blankets off his bed and half dragged them toward the balcony door which he opened wide, dropping one of his pillows in the middle of the floor. Laying one of the sheets over the railing, he hid behind a curtain to watch...

Jack come out and was about to climb into his bed when he saw that Mel was missing from the other bed and noticed the blankets and open balcony door. He raced out the open sliding door, gripping the railing on the 10 story balcony and scanned the ground for any sign of Dad, frantically calling his name!

Dad stepped out from behind and said Hi Jack!
Tomorrow... the story of the Feather Phantom...

Forward Backward Sideways step.

I got a forward from a friend of mine and thought I'd share. She thinks I have an odd sense of humor. I fear she might be right... Because this struck me as pretty funny!

Bored?
What to do...
1. Kill a few Flies
2. Put them in the sun to dry for one hour.
3. Once they are dry, pick a pencil and paper... Let your
Imagination flow.

Here are a few examples...

Makes me wonder, though: where does someone work that there are so many flies???????

Breakfast of Champions!

Here is my breakfast... EVERY single day!

Cappuccino - 3 teaspoon scoops of Sugar Free Vanilla Creamer (The International Foods brand) + 1/2 scoop instant coffee thrown in + hot water = the best cappuccino in the world! Plus it's sugar free!

Omelette -
1)Throw small handful of fresh spinach leaves in a bowl with a teensy bit of water, cover with a saucer and stick it in the microwave for a minute.
2) throw a skinny slice of ham on the grill part of the stove while you whip up the one egg in another bowl.
3) Spray a small frying pan with Pam spray and put the burner on medium. Pour in the egg.
4) Once the bottom of the egg turns a little white, tear or cut up the ham and lay it on top.
5) Add the spinach (drained), add about a tablespoon of shredded cheese, add a sprinkling of bleu cheese, squirt on some hot sauce, grind on some sea salt and pepper.
6) Cover with lid and let it sit until the egg is cooked and cheese is melted.
7) Fold over, slide it onto a plate and eat!

I was on the Curves diet several years ago and got hooked on this then. My youngest daughter likes it too, but not every day.

The reason I add all the gross stuff, was originally to keep my kids from eating my breakfast when I ran to find something for them in the mornings or to put the dogs out... Darn. Now I have to find something even more gross! But I love it! If they want a bite these days, I'll help them broaden their horizons...

I dreamt a dream....

I had such a weird dream last night... My family and I were driving along and pulled into a store parking lot and who should be in the next car?, but a face I saw everyday. A fellow blogger with her family, but for the life of me, I can't remember which one.

They were just getting ready to go and I grabbed my husbands arm and said, "Wait, stop the car!" and I jumped out and ran up to their car, knocking on the window.

She thought I was insane, but rolled it down anyway and I gasped, "It's you! It's ##$(@*##" (Like I said, I don't remember which one of you it is...) She said, "Yes..." and I told her who I was. After that, we all had lunch together.

And for the record... I don't think she swears as much in real life as she does on her blog.... At least from what I remember of my reaction was to her.

So I guess... If you want to be famous, you put your photo on the blog. I still don't feel like it yet. Call me shy.

For the American Sewers Guild ladies of Central Iowa
(of which I am a proud member - sing to the tune of Little Old Lady from Pasadena)

They wear organdy dresses and high-button shoes
They read Threads magazine and so Sew News
There's Patience Proper and Prudence Prim
You oughta see 'em do the swim

They come from Des Moines, Ames and the suburbs too
For a sewing circle and clothing review
The little old ladies wait in wild anticipation
for the meeting of the Central Iowa ASG, duh
The American Sewers Guild of Central Iowa

They toot around town in their big Grand Prixes
Sittin' in their bucket seats, shootin' the breeze
You know that all week long they put up jammin' preserves
And on weekends they negotiate curves

They come from Des Moines, Ames and the suburbs too
For a sewing circle and clothing review
The little old ladies wait in wild anticipation
for the meeting of the Central Iowa ASG, duh
The American Sewers Guild of Central Iowa

The meeting breaks up with a thunderous roar
Then there's a mad mad rush for the big oak door
They run to their cars like the start at LeMans
Then they go spinnin' donuts in the lawns

They come from Des Moines, Ames and the suburbs too
For a sewing circle and clothing review
The little old ladies wait in wild anticipation
for the meeting of the Central Iowa ASG, duh
The American Sewers Guild of Central Iowa

adaptation of lyrics by
Berry,Jan/Christian,Roger/Altfeld,Don

Tomorrow I'm cruising around Iowa with 4 ladies in tow. I don't think any of us are very old, but I guess that's in the eye of the beholder and my 14 year old... We're going to hit little known fabric shops in about 4 or 5 wide flung towns around Iowa. It will be fun!

Have a great weekend!

Nursing blues....

Ok - My sister is going to kill me for this... and my nephew will when he's older... but... they rarely read my blog...

My sister had just had a new baby and I think this picture tells how she feeds her baby.

Yes, this is one of her boys who pays close attention to everything his mommy does. I was reminded of this picture from Stepforddreams. She wrote about a new toy in Europe where there is an apron the little girl puts on that has little flower petals where the headlights should be and then she nurses a baby who makes real sounds! Apparently there is some controversy about this doll! Who would imagine!?

I should surprise my nephew (9 or 10 now) with this toy for Christmas!

And now for something COMPLETELY different...

As I've been labeled (by my anonymous husband) that I am a half empty glass type of gal... Here is a bit of levity. We're not Catholic, but dearly LOVE the BBC series Father Ted. Such a kill! Just click on the pictures.

Below is the video link for their (obviously fake) Eurovision entry.
And then the time Father Ted & Father Dougal got lost in the Lingerie section of a department store....

It's a SMOOTHIE Day!!

Good morning! It's 8:55am and I'm eating a smoothie! It's very cold and I'm already getting a brain-freeze...

I just went inside to move the laundry ahead and wake up the boy. Meri was in the kitchen running the blender! I asked what she was doing and guess what?? She was attempting to make the largest smoothie ever! She had just poured the blender contents into a glass and the smoothie was thick enough that it was piled about 3 inches higher than the glass.

After a few exclamations in my voice, she dumped some back into the blender and then poured some into a new glass for me. So I guess I'm having a slushy strawberry smoothie this morning for an early morning snack. I ate breakfast roughly 2 hours ago... I guess it's time for a snack.

It's actually very good! I could get used to this. Bummer that school is going to start in less than a month.

Meet my new doctor...

Q: Doctor, I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?
A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it... don't waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer ; that's like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.

Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable products.

Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms up!

Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?
A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain...Good!

Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: Are you crazy? HELLO Cocoa beans! Another vegetable!!! It's the best feel-good food around!

Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.

Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?
A: Hey! 'Round' is a shape!

Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.

And remember:
'Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming 'WOO HOO, What a Ride'

AND.....

For those of you who watch what you eat, here's the final word on nutrition and health. It's a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting nutritional studies.

1. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

3. The Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

5. The Germans drink a lot of beers and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

CONCLUSION

Eat and drink what you like.
Speaking English is apparently what kills you.

Peek-a-boo!

One day as I was driving alone in my minivan, I turned a corner a bit sharply. Suddenly I heard a voice from the backseat... "Pee-e-e-k-a-a-b--o-o-, I see-ee y--ou---.", I was a little freaked out and pulled over. After checking the way back and all the other seats and floors, thought that maybe it was the radio. How creepy?! I'd read way too many Dean Koontz books for my own good.

Then I turned another corner and it said it again, "Pee-e-e-k-a-a-b--o-o-, I see-ee y--ou---. Pee-e-e-k-a-a-b--o-o-, I l -o -o -o v- e- y-o -u..."

Ok - that was weird. I pulled over again and tore the car apart. What I found was that the wayback seat had been folded down over a toy of my daughters. Every major turn was setting it off. How annoying and yet still creepy... Apparently the batteries were wearing down on this dumb doll. When I got home, I pitched it into the garage in a box of toys that had been given up or outgrown by my kids.

So later that evening... Ryan was about 7 and we sent him to the garage for a gallon of milk. Aren't kids useful for things like that? Oh and go get me a pop! He came back in sans milk, a little scared and said that there's a hobo in the garage!

We investigated and sure enough, it was the doll again... "Pee-e-e-k-a-a-b--o-o-, I see-ee y--ou---." Apparently it's also light activated. The batteries were definitely low. We ended up taking the batteries out, but were so unnerved by it that it got left in the garage box.

Pee-e-e-k-a-a-b--o-o-, I see-ee y--ou---. Pee-e-e-k-a-a-b--o-o-, I l -o -o -o v- e- y-o -u...

Do Re Mi - Fabulous!

"This brilliant ensemble was planned and all happened in a Dutch Station. 200 Dancers broke into a delightful choreographed dance at the capital train station in Belgium. Its a wonderful surprise that must have put a smile on the passenger’s faces. I wish I was a part of it! Wow!"

My sister-in-law just sent this to me. WOW! I wish I were a part of it too!
Enjoy!