Ending the Old Year with Tears

I had a weekend free, so I decided to fill it as much and best as I could.

So... in McVal fashion... here we go...

Since Thursday's news about Mom, I was missing her and Dad intensely.  I wasn't wanting to intrude on other siblings time with her, but found that almost all of them were gathering for the weekend to spend time with her.  We don't know how much time is left.

So, we descended on the nursing home, grandkids and all.  The nursing home director is an old work friend of Dad's and knows our family, so he stocked several folding chairs in Mom's room for company.  

Maddy and Matthew had driven to our house on Friday night through lots of snow conditions and ended up with car problems.  So they left their car at our house for Robb to figure out how to fix and took one of our cars to my hometown.  Meri and I climbed into Meri's car and headed in the same direction.  Robb stayed home to babysit the dogs and his mom.

Plus, he was playing the organ (computer) for church on Sunday.  The actual organists were all out of town.  I got someone to teach my Sunday School class for me.

On Saturday, we arrived in the morning and Mom was confused to see us all.  She was reluctant to hug anyone for fear that what she has is contagious.  No, it's not Mom... Her dementia makes her forget so much so quickly.

Aside from looking like she had used too much fake tan lotion, she appeared healthy and fine.

For those in the know though, that was a bad sign.

One of my nephews had brought his violin and he played several selections for Mom and Dad as well as the residents in the dining area.  

They loved it.

Pretty soon, there were too many of us in her room, so we moved the party to a conference room that had been reserved for her family all day.  

We had a great time, but then it was time for Mom and Dad to get to their lunch that was being served in the dining room.  Everyone was going to other relatives homes for lunches or out to eat together.  I stayed behind and had lunch with them.

There was one little old lady in a wheelchair that shares the table with Mom every day, so Dad introduced me to her as Teresa...  That's one of my sisters...  Dad!!!  I'm Valerie!

Whoops!  I corrected my name for the lady, but for the rest of the meal, she referred to me as Teresa.  sigh.

While my sisters and other adults left the room to go get enough coffee, cappuccino and hot cocoa for everyone, Grandpa was left in the room with all the grandchildren.  I was the first one back and when I entered the room, all of the kids were in tears.  

What did you SAY Dad??!

He told them the truth and didn't sugar coat it in the least.

He was never one to sugar coat anything.

Later on, when everyone came back, I took Teresa's chair next to Dad and said, "HAHA!  Teresa snoozed so she loozed!!"  Dad said, "Oh, funny story!! I was having lunch with Valerie today..."

"Dad.. I'm Valerie!"

Whoops.

After a while, after Maddy and Matthew had to leave, Meri and I ran to get checked in at the hotel and got back in time to visit with my brother who had just arrived.  After a while, everyone left again for dinner.  Dad was going to stay with Mom until after supper so I stuck around too.  Meri picked me up later.

Mom usually goes to bed around 7, so we figured we bug out by then.  We met up with the rest of the clan back at the hotel.  I think every other room on our floor contained someone I was related to.

We met up in the pool room and the grands and greats had a blast in the pool and hot tub.  

Since we didn't have Leon with us, I got my 6-7 year old fix with my nephew Braedon.  He got over his fear of the elevator with the many trips I took him on it.  "Can I go change back into my clothes now?" (They had changed in my room) "I want to get back in the pool, can you take me back up to change again?"  "Can I relax on your chair in your room for a bit?" "Can you take me to Gabriel's room"

Who am I to say no to him?

By 9:30, I was wiped out.  We did get lots of visiting in with most of my siblings/nephews/nieces/grandniece and for that I'm really thankful.

The next morning, I let Meri sleep in and I took a book and got breakfast downstairs before everyone else got up.  had breakfast with them all before they all left for their homes in either Illinois or Wisconsin.  

Depending on how things work out, the cruise may or may not still be on.  We'll see.  

Since Mom and Dad's church wasn't until 11, Meri and I lounged in our room and got home housekeeping therapy by watching some Hoarders and then Say Yes to the Dress.  

Word to anyone looking for a wedding dress...  "DON'T BRING YOUR FRIENDS WITH YOU!" and "DON'T WAIT UNTIL AN HOUR BEFORE YOUR WEDDING TO PICK OUT A DRESS!"

Yikes.

Oh and "DON'T BECOME THE CRAZY CAT WOMAN WHO LETS HER CATS TAKE OVER HER HOME!"  "AND DON'T HOARD!"

As we were checking out, the lady asked me if I was a Johnson...  Ummm, that's not on my reservation papers...  I hesitantly said, "yes...  why do you ask?"  She said that I had the eyes of a Johnson.  REALLY?!  She went on to say that my mom used to give her and her siblings a ride to church every Sunday and she remembered the Christmas Eve programs.  Wowza!!  Small world!!  Well, I guess not THAT small, as the hotel was only 2 miles from the church, but for someone to recognize me being from a certain family from 40 years ago based on my eyes.  Wow.  I actually don't remember her...  I told her why we were here and left the hotel with tears in them.

Just before the church service, Melanie took me to the room where her husband and son, who are carpenters, had made Mom and Dad's caskets.  

I didn't know you could make your own until my uncle had died some years ago.  But they're beautiful. The thing is that they didn't have any lining in them.  Melanie asked if I could do it.

It would be my honor.  So that's my labor of love for the week.  I'm not sure how long I've got to make it, but I've got lots of ideas and when I dreamed up one on the way home yesterday, I sobbed as I told Meri.  I'll tell you about that another day.

A four generation pic.  Although my niece-in-law is not blood, that's ok!

So church was emotional.  Mom sat down suddenly while everyone was else was still standing, so I sat down with her.  Good thing she had a box of kleenex there.  When the pastor prayed for Mom specifically, I could hear my sister crying softly behind me as I attempted to dry my own face off.

Meri and I went to lunch with Mom and Dad at one of their favorite brunch places.   Meri commented that she knows where I get the slow eating habit from...  My mom!  I knew I'd inherited several characteristics from her...

After lunch, Meri asked me to get a pic of her hugging Mom goodbye.  It very well could be the last hug Meri gives her.

  

Both Meri and Mom gripped each other like they'd never let go.

  

When I hugged her, I came away with a wet face also and when Mom saw it, she asked if Robb and I were ok.  

It's probably a blessing that she forgets things so quickly.

On our way out of town, Meri wanted to drive past the old one room school house that Mom and Dad lived in when Meri was young.  She's very nostalgic about that place.  It was a couple hours out of our way, but hey...  Why not?  We had all afternoon.  So we did.

The people who live in it now were strange.  No one answered the door, but there were 5 cars in the driveway.  At least 3 had flat tires and weeds growing through the engines.  So Meri took pics of her swing set and merry-go-round that she'd loved so much.  The house itself is crumbling on one corner.  Meri hopes to buy it back someday and make it her own.

The trip home was bitter sweet.  We cried off and on remembering things from our younger years.

Plus, I think Meri may have hit on a second song to sing for AGT.  We'll see.  

Well, enough for now.  Have a wonderful New Year!