The Dad side - part 4

My parents wedding. Don't you love the glasses on my mom and Aunt Bonnie?

As I've mentioned here, here and here... My dad has a wacky sense of humor. And I think it's hereditary... My brother and 6 sisters have it too.

Way back when, before I and any of my siblings were born yet, my dad was a truck driver. He drove the big rigs down the highways and biways of Nebraska, Iowa and South Dakota. He and Mom lived in Nebraska at that time.

Dad had several stories to tell about truck driving. I'm only listing two here, and I'm not sure if one of them is totally true... You can be the judge and I'll run it past him next time we talk...

1) Dad had a load of cattle and was pulled up to a stoplight coming through a larger city. A car or so back alongside him was a convertible car with a handsome looking couple in it. They looked very wealthy and kind of snooty, from what Dad said. All of the sudden, one of the cows had to relieve themselves and their backside was right up against the side of the vented trailer. Immediately next to the convertible... As it was relieved, the heavy stream of fluid flew into the convertible, splashing around the upholstery and soaking the couple. Dad watched this out of his rear side mirror with horror! Since he didn't know what else to do, he drove on as if nothing had happened once the light changed.

2) Dad was driving a big rig along a Nebraska county road. He could see a car in the distance before he went down a slight incline. As he came up the ridge back to flat land, he noticed the car just tootling along hugging the center line. The car contained a couple little old ladies out for their Sunday drive apparently. Dad pulled on the horn to warn them to either speed up or pull onto their own side of the road so he could get around them.

As anyone who startles easily can tell you, this isn't the right thing to do... The little old lady driving suddenly slammed on her brakes.in.the.middle.of.the.road coming to a screeching halting stop. Dad had slowed down some, but not enough to come to a stop.

On both sides of the highway were shallow ditches, barbed wire fences and corn fields that hadn't been plowed yet, as this was very early Spring. Instead of rear ending the women, Dad took the ditch. He plowed right through that fence and into the bumpy field. Made a very wide circle and headed right back to the break in the fence so he could get back onto the road.

Unfortunately the women were still sitting in their car at that very spot in the road watching him in stunned amazement and horror.

As Dad headed back to his fence opening, he laid on the horn again.solid. and sped up because that would be the only way to get back up the ditch wall to get to the highway again. As he described it, they stared at him as if he were a trucker from Hell. They suddenly peeled out and left half their tires melted on the highway as they left. With the momentum he was driving, Dad was able to get his semi back on the road and on his way again, never seeing them again.