And suddenly...

That Thursday after Robb died, Maddy, Matthew, Meri and Shub took me shopping.  I needed clothes suitable for the visitation and the funeral.  Nothing in my closet was appropriate.  I think most of my clothes were made with a cruise in mind...  

Matthew and Shub were along for the ride and to drive us.  They were awesome and so patient sitting on the lounging chairs outside of the fitting rooms.  The girls ran and got me different sizes and gave me advice on things.  

I felt fat.

But in the end, I found some black (who am I kidding - just assume all is black because it was) slacks with blazer and tank top for Friday night's visitation and then a dress with black tights for the funeral itself.  All of which I felt comfortable in, until my sisters warned me that the slinky tank top kept sliding down to show my cleavage... :)  Whoops!  I wore two necklaces that Robb had given me that were beautiful.  A pearl necklace and a pendant of green ivy.  I was given Robb's rings after the funeral and put them on the pearls.  I bought a chain and wear his ring around my neck most days.  Just realized that I'm not at the moment but will remedy that.

While we were out, someone stopped by with 3 tubs of chili for our family!  Ryan didn't know who it was and said it was the Gideon Bible people.  REALLY?!!  We thought Well MAYBE since Covid, they're giving out chili instead of Bibles...  So that was the mystery until Saturday when Ryan finally brought the business card that the man had given him to us.  OHHHHH!!!! It's HIM!  A dear dear friend of Robbs that had just started working for Gideon International, the Bible people.  Well that makes sense!

That Friday, the kids and I, mostly Maddy, got the picture boards ready.  We'd bought two tri fold boards and even sent off Matthew to get a third, but they filled up so quickly that I was looking around the garage for old tri-folds the kids had used in school projects.  Found one that Maddy had done in college and with her permission, tore everything off of it and filled it up too.  We had pictures that Margaret and I had pulled out of a basket of photos from when Robb was young all the way up to current.  

I also had a closet door that I'd covered with fabric for another project but we stuck 8x10s of Robb and me, each of the kids with him and one of Leon with him.  It's earned a permanent spot in our house now.

That Friday night, seeing Robb in the casket was heartbreaking but he looked SO distinguished with his goatee, glasses and suit from Maddy's wedding.  AND he was wearing both his wedding ring on one hand and one of the rubber rings on his other.   He wore his actual wedding ring so rarely because he got a radiator burn 3 weeks after our wedding and since then his hands swelled so much at certain parts of the day that he never got in the habit of wearing it again.  I did agonize over which rubber ring to have on him.  The gray?  The camoflage?  I settled on the gray as it matched his clothes.

He looked SO natural like he was just sleeping.  And my bi-focals kept playing tricks on me, showing movement where there was none.  The girls told me later, they were having that same problem.

I hugged SO many people that evening.  A few I'd never met before but had gone to high school with Robb or were his clients.

Margaret had gone to stay at her son's house an hour away but was there that evening and of course the next day for the funeral.  Plans are in the works to move her to assisted living arrangements.  Her remaining children are taking good care of her.

The funeral was surreal.  The kids had me surrounded constantly.  Since our pastor that had just retired the previous weekend knew Robb so well, he did the sermon and it was perfect.  JUST how Robb would have wanted.  Although I'm sure Jesus already knows how to play computer games and Robb doesn't have to teach him.  I'm so glad he came out of retirement briefly for this tribute for his friend.

Meri tucked an empty Diet Dr Pepper can, a box of Hot Tamales candy and something else into the coffin under the curtain.  Leon put an art project that Grandpa had cut out for him in.  I found out later that Robb's brother had put a full plastic bottle of DDP and another box of Hot Tamales in also.  I'm glad it was a bottle and not a can or it would have exploded.

The church was packed, and I mean packed.  College friends took up almost two rows alone!  The funeral director and members of our congregation scoured the church for chairs and just when they thought everyone was seated, ten more walked in the door.  So standing room only.  Robb would have loved that!

Afterwards, was the interment at the cemetery and EVERYONE joined us!  I thought it was going to be a smallish group there but everyone followed the hearse and walked from all over the small cemetery to the tent where the vacancy pastor (without a coat or gloves or hat) gave a prayer.  Even though the sun was out and it was reasonable warm (40s), the wind out on the prairie was bitter cold.  

After that we all drove out to the hall and it was lovely!  The table runners I'd made were a bit short but that's ok.  The food was hot and ready to be served out.  The picture boards that the kids had put together were up there again.  Sisters had brought a bunch of flowers to the hall to decorate some of the tables.  The funeral home took the rest to our house and loaded up the table and counter with them.  They did leave some at the church for that weekend, but church was cancelled due to a blizzard and I brought them home a couple days later so they could be enjoyed.

The slideshow was on constantly on a big screen, there was a microphone and I encouraged people to tell stories about Robb during dinner.  Some had the guts and were able to keep their composure and tell stories.  Such great stories and I'd forgotten about the Surge for the nephews incident!  It was so nice to hear them.

Two bagpipers were there and played a lot of songs.  It was wonderful!  One of them was Robb's bagpipe teacher.  Her husband died last year.

Towards the end, I got up and thanked everyone and said that this is a party that Robb would have LOVED and he would also have said, "If anyone is still in town tomorrow morning, Come on over to my house for breakfast!"  and he WOULD have!!!!  But I emphasized, PLEASE DON'T!

I let my sister Tammy and her son come over tho for breakfast the next day.  They weren't leaving until mid morning anyway to beat the upcoming blizzard.  Maddy and Meri tried their hand at two of Robb's breakfast casserole recipes and they were delicious.

Maddy helped me get some financial lists ready and find out all of Robb's life insurance stuff.  Matthew helped me find addresses for almost everyone that I'll be sending a thank you to.  Meri made lists for me to do each day to keep me busy.

Maddy and Matthew left that Monday and Meri took the day off too and stayed with me.  I had intended to go back to work that Tuesday, but my boss was so kind.  "Only come back when you are absolutely ready!"  So I took that week off too.  So many phone calls, preserving flowers, crying, cleaning up little areas in the house that were Robb's areas.  Who else is going to do it?!

DUO calls with Maddy and the "girls".

I finally mailed the claim forms off to the insurance companies today.  OH! I also found out that Robb's unused sick time and vacation days were to be paid out to me and that is SUCH a blessing!!! All of the unused rolled over year to year and it was such a surprise!  I wish tho that we'd been able to take more vacations...

We haven't decided on a grave stone yet.  We want to shop around a little more but it will definitely have a bagpiper on it.  Not sure what my emblem will be...  

Since I had hugged SO many people I got Covid tested on Thursday.  Still negative!!!  Almost everyone wore masks so I didn't anticipate anything.  But it made the kids feel more comfortable.

Will be spending the rest of my week's spare time listening to the videos we took of the memories.

Eventually

 My Uncle Steve, Mom's baby brother, passed away just over a week ago.  He's the one in the back, on the far right.  His dementia was worse than my mom's over the course of the last couple years and following a series of mini strokes, he went to heaven. 

I had another uncle that died in a car crash when I was pretty young.  Another uncle about ten years ago, then Mom and Dad's deaths two years ago and now Steve. sigh.

His wife, Janice, was my nurse at the hospital where I was born.  Mom grilled her about her life and when Steve came in to see Mom and meet me, Mom said, Hey, ask that nurse out for coffee!

And the rest was history...

Three kids, ten grandkids later...

When we were kids, he would hire us kids to help sell sweetcorn.  That was about the time it was $1 a dozen.  I'm "a dollar a dozen" years old.

Needless to say, it sells for a lot more now.

Every Christmas, Steve tied Christmas tree branches onto a very heavy wire and let it hang in scallops across the front of the church.  It smelled "heavenly" and looked gorgeous.

Oh, This was the Janice that Mom always used for a scapegoat to get us kids to clean the house properly.

"Janice is coming over and she ALWAYS looks behind couches to see if we stash stuff there!"

and the closets and under our beds.

We grew up thinking she was an incredible snoop! LOL!

But being a mom now for almost 30 years, I totally get why Mom said that.

I've lied to my kids before too.

Sorry though Janice!  You don't deserve that!

It was great at the viewing, to hear cousins remember things that we didn't about him. I guess since we lived so close we didn't stay for a week at a time with their family and find out that they made a pool out of a previously toxic chemical barrel or how Steve's tractor's brakes gave way on his super steep hill and crashed and how he was determined and got it working again.

I guess when you live in the same town and see them every day at our church school, you can get a bit annoyed with them.  Steve was pretty stubborn.  I guess I know where he got it. Mom... :)  Well, actually Grandpa.

Dad would come home from a church meeting where Steve was too, all angry, because well, Dad was stubborn too. :)

And only one more story about Steve's attitude.  He taught PE at my church school and I don't remember why, but I said, "Well, that's just PEACHY!!!!!"  I was angry about something...  I probably got hit with a ball and I didn't/don't swear. much.  That was about as bad as it got.

Well, Steve hadn't heard that term before and asked me what that meant.

Ummmm  sarcasm??!

I had to sit out the rest of PE in my desk...

whoops!

Seeing so many of my cousins was great!   About 50% made it.  I had 3 other cousins there that were born the same year as me and we were always the closest.  Julie, my favorite cousin "not a secret", Jonathan and Danny. Well, he's Dan now.  

I guess you have to be when you're married with kids, grandkids and a farm.

Robb smoked two 8 pound pork butts and we made pulled pork the night before and brought it.  That and a bunch of other food brought by the family at the pot luck filled up everyone and then we went out to the cemetery about an hour away.

Steve is buried right between my maternal grandparents and his in-laws.  They must have been close friends when they bought their plots.

Mom and Dad's headstone looked so cold a little ways away.

Robb and I got there first behind the hearse and a cousin, Scott, was right behind us.  No one had plowed the cemetery and the hearse almost got stuck.  So it was single file all the way around the lanes.  Everyone had to walk a ways.  well, except us.

Scott told us how they thaw the ground for a grave digging and how they did it back in the day before gas powered engines.  Interesting!! I have no idea how he knows this...

I got to see three sisters and my brother as well as a lot of nieces, nephews and lots of grandnieces and grandnephews.  Our family was well represented.

It was a beautiful snowy day with lots of sun and no wind, or it would have been miserable out there.

I walked one of my aunts back to her car to keep her from slipping on the snow/crushed up ice.

Her voice is a lot lower than my mom's but dang if it didn't make me tear up because I could hear Mom's voice in it...

Anyway.  Steve's in heaven now.  Janice is going to be just fine.

eventually.

Heartbreak

It's been a tough couple weeks.   I've been back and forth between home and my hometown a LOT since the middle of May when Dad had his open heart surgery.  Meri came with me on Fridays.  I worked a lot from the hospital cafeteria and Dad's room in the ICU.

For the record, my house was totally neglected.  Don't come see me for a while!

While the surgery itself was a success, Dad suffered a stroke the next day.



Within 3 days he couldn't talk or move his arm or leg.



It was heartbreaking.



After all of his kids, most grand-kids and his sister came to say say goodbye, a week and a half later, he left us to be with Mom in heaven .  

The funeral was Monday in Nebraska.  Right next to Mom and just across the green where his parents were buried.

On the evening that he passed,  the 25th, Meri and I stayed up til midnight and worked on the lining of his coffin.  Since we had finally accepted the fact that he was not going to make it, we scrambled trying to find navy blue satin or it's equivalent on that Friday night at 8pm.  Did you know that JoAnn's and Hobby Lobby both close at 8pm?  neither did we...  So we checked out Walmart's fabric department.  Meri found some great star fabric and we knew we wanted to incorporate it but nothing else matched it that we could find.

Meri looked through the sheets and found a navy blue king size satiny cotton sheet set. PERFECT!  PLUS we didn't have to gather it by hand all the way around the base of the coffin.

the flounce, I cut off the top of the top sheet and stitched it to the front and top sections of the elastic, stretching it as I sewed.  It made an automatic gathering for that too and was already hemmed as well.
win win!

A sister and niece helped for a while that evening and they ironed and helped staple it in.  Then Meri and I stayed and completed the lid lining.  We couldn't get much further as it was late and she and I had to get a little sleep.  We slept on the floor of a church class room.  Not too comfy, but oh well.

During this week, while I was going through the memory boxes that I've got, I found a book with Mom and Dad's early dating friendship letters.  SO sweet!  Meri read one and busted up.  It was written by Mom and she said, "This country is getting almost as bad as Nebraska." HAHAHA!  I'm going to have to use that sometime, slightly altered of course, for various other things.  But it won Dad's heart, so it's got to be a keeper!

Isn't it sad that for funerals from our generation and definitely the next, the only "love" letters will be Snapchat or Instagram or posts on Facebook?  Kind of hard to show those at a viewing...  

My nephew's slideshow was great!  I want to get a copy of it as there were so many people to hug that I missed some of it.

Also, while going through old photos and seeing a time in Dad's life that I hadn't known, I felt sad that I hadn't known him then.



Also sad that I didn't have a visual of his life then when he told his stories and I wish I could hear them again and capture all the moments. Of course, he was 8 or 17 or 26 at the time of the various stories, but what a vibrant young man.  I see his face in my nephews and hear his voice in my brother.  a bit.

Meri asked for Dad's leather Marine jacket and she got it!  She is so proud of it and yesterday  morning, a man came up behind her at Casey's convenience store saying "Semper Fi!  I am a Marine from 1965!!!"  He took us both by surprise so we didn't have a proper response for him, but Meri has thought about it and has a proper one for the next time someone comments about her jacket.

I'm sure she'll cry every single time.

Also, yesterday morning.  We were told that Dad and the coffin would be at the church 7:30am so Meri and I made sure we were there to hot glue in the final touches.  Dad didn't arrive for almost another hour.  So with the viewing starting at 9am, we finally finished the coffin with 10 minutes to spare.  Siblings and their families started arriving early.  One sister said that I reminded her of Mom.  I quipped, "because of the last minute?"  "yep" she smiled.

Oh well.  Consider this a tribute to her AND Dad.

The funeral was at 11 with a lunch following at the same hall as Mom's funeral.  There were cousins of Mom's that I'd never met before and one that I did many years ago.  Pictures had to taken of everyone and their kid.  or grandkids 

My grandniece, Elsie.  A second later, she'd thrown Meri's bracelet on the floor announcing, UH OH!

That was no accident... But what a cutie!

Here are me and my siblings and our spouses.  My youngest sister wasn't able to stay for the lunch.

and the grand-kids and great grands. Most anyway.

When that wrapped up, I grabbed my tablecloths and table runners, Meri and Maddy started hauling things out to the cars as my drink dispensers got dumped.

I'm so glad Maddy and Matthew could come too!!  They stayed over last night and left about 30 minutes ago.  Still waiting for the Star Trek travel mechanisms to get us to them in a split second instead of 6 hours...

Then friends of a sister stayed behind and cleaned up everything for us.  WHAT a blessing!!!

while we all headed out to Dad's hometown in Nebraska about an hour away.  

Leon had some orange Tic Tacs.  He was handing them out to cousins over a stranger's grave.  He was overheard saying, I hope this guy liked Tic Tacs!

Mom's grave is under their feet.

The service there was very short, but because Dad was a Marine, there were three Marines to see him off.  One with taps and two with the flag.  *sob*  They presented it to my oldest sister, Tammy and she broke down.  Of course we all had already to some extent.  NOT enough kleenex at the cemetery...  Anyone within reach, reached out to touch her shoulders and arms to console her and everyone else sitting down.  I stood behind them with another sister and my brother.

Afterwards, Leon, Maddy, Matthew and I went off to find both sets of my grandparent's graves.  I knew that I still had one grandparent unaccounted for out there but didn't get a chance to ask where he was.  When the grave stone gets installed, we'll have to see if we can find them all when we come to see it.

What a great man.  a great dad.  I'm going to miss him so much.

How I wish to hear this in Dad's deep, partially growly, loving voice, "Hey Valerie, how are you?"

Not good Dad...

Rear View Mirror

Weekends in the rear view mirror.

For such a somber event, we were all pretty upbeat and cheerful for the drive to Nebraska for my Mom's graveside service.  We ended up having Leon's little brother, Finn, with us for the adventure.  He and Meri got on great.  Leon, Maddy and Matthew hung out in the "way back" and Leon showed off his Lego Star Wars game on his ancient Ipod.

I mostly visited with Robb, worked on funeral thank yous and took out some stitching from some zippers that I salvaged from some of Robb's old shorts that he was throwing away.

 We arrived first at the cemetery and waited in the van.  It was COLD, wet and windy.  It's always windy at this cemetery.  2.5 sets of my grandparents are buried out here and I was only able to put a rose on one of their graves before frost bite was kicking into my bare legs.  Slacks and boots would have probably been a better choice to wear...  

The tent blocked some of the wind and most of the rain, but I come from a big family and we couldn't all fit comfortably, so some stuck out on various sides.

The reason the graveside service was 1.5 months later was so that grandchildren who couldn't make it to the actual funeral could make it to this.  And so that the weather would be better.  I'm almost thinking it was warmer in early March!  But who knew?

Matthew was gracious and helped be a stand-in pallbearer for it.

The service was short but poignant.  

And Beautiful Savior will always make me cry now.

Afterwards, we all drove to another town about 20 minutes away and filled the entire back party room of a Pizza Ranch.  So good to visit with them all.  I got to hear all about my brother's trip to Florida.

Mental note: Buy the strongest and most waterproof sunscreen I can find...  The Florida and Bahama sun was not made for lily white Iowa skin.  He and his girlfriend were peeling pretty good.

On the way home, the kids crashed within 10 minutes of being in the car again.

It reminded me of this photo that I took within 10 minutes of getting in our rental car in Ireland.

Kids are so sweet when they're sleeping... :)

Finally got home after almost 4 hours in the car and our company for dinner (brother-in-law and his wife) arrived 10 minutes later.

Yep - Lisa helped me get some of the food cooked while Robb manned the grill.

After dinner, Maddy helped Meri get all dolled up for a "Porch Prom" that she was attending that evening.

I KNOW!  I'd never heard of a "porch prom" either!  But it was Prom night at our local high school and Meri has graduated so she wasn't going.  Neither were a lot of her theater friends that own a house close to the high school.  So they had a party on the porch, watching and mocking the high school kids as they arrived at the high school for their grand march.  Meri was upset that she couldn't make anything but after hitting up the local convenience store, went to the party bearing chips and cheese dip.  She didn't get back until 2 am and I think she had a great time.

Ellie, Duke and Reedus were all under one roof again for the weekend.  They were excited and as crazy as ever to be together.   The people left back at the house on Saturday had to deal with it.  Not us.   Ellie promptly dragged the food dish to the bathroom and slept behind the bathroom door all day.  She can be moody.

Duke left with Maddy and Matthew on Sunday morning and Ellie stuck around until last night when Meri got done with her community play practice.  And suddenly we're just down to Reedus, who is snoring not so softly under the table as I type.

Teen Challenge arrived at the auto repair place this morning and picked up Meri's car.  Well, it's not hers anymore.

Oh!  My niece from LA came to the burial and brought my fabric that I had gotten in LA in February!  Now I have bunches of fabric to sew with again!  Not that I was running out or anything, but it's great to have fresh material when browsing through my stash and dream about what I could make out of it.  Jen, Meri and I looked through and came up with some ideas already.

Anyway, that was the weekend.  Everyone is back to their own homes and I'm scrambling to get work done today so I'll get a lunch time to sew.

How was your weekend?

Hello and Goodbyes

I got back home late on Saturday and was drained.  On Sunday afternoon, we picked up the boy and took him and his neighbor friend out for dinner and a movie.  The Lego Movie 2 was showing in the next town.  And that had been his birthday party plans all along, so the Birthday that Never Was Happened.

Finally!

The boys had a great time and I actually enjoyed the movie!

Meri helped me fill our bulk salt and pepper shakers for the funeral dinner.  

For something that I was dreading doing, it only took 5 minutes...  We also collected roasters, drink dispensers, table clothes and I found 40 yards of black tulle leftover from Meri's grad party.  I cut it into 10-11 foot lengths and got enough to use as the table runners for all the tables.  

My family is the epitome of the DIYers.  One sister took charge and came with a car loaded down with food and to-do lists.  Another rented the hall, another and my brother organized appetizers.

The viewing on Tuesday afternoon and into the night was a wonderful remembrance of Mom.  Meri arrived with me early and helped me hot glue all the photos with me onto the coffin  lid.  I accidentally backed into her while she was holding the hot glue gun and got a glob on my back.  That stayed with me all day...  

My sister and her husband had put together a great slideshow of Mom's life as well as the 50 year anniversary video done 11 years ago.  

I saw so many friends and family that I hadn't seen for over 40 years in some cases.  And they all had wonderful things to say about Mom.  The pastor gave a brief sermon and then handed the microphone to whoever would like to say something.  My nephew stood first, then an aunt, and the passing of  the mic kept going.  Meri kept wanting to stand up and go next but someone else always beat her to it.  So I stood up with her and we both went.  Meri had a sweet story to tell about how Mom always made each of her grandkids feel special and about the infamous tea party under the dining room table.    I told about how Mom could talk to ANYONE and find a connection of some sort.  I told about how when Mom came with me to one of my church functions and met the oldest member of our church, Marie.  Mom asked where she was from and Marie told her the town in Northern Minnesota.  Mom said that her father's first church as a minister was there!  And Marie remembered coming home from college and meeting the new pastor and his young wife and their first little baby, my mom.  

So yep, my mom knew everyone.

My best childhood friend, Valerie, told how my parents had stopped to buy sweetcorn from Val's family when she was 4.  My mom talked with her mom and invited them to church.  A few months later, Val and all her siblings and family were baptized and her siblings and my siblings were all about the same ages and became close family friends.  She and her brother came to the viewing.  

The passing of the mic lasted almost an hour.  Lots of hugs and tears later.  Since the church is a smallish one and Tuesday evening already was standing room only, there were concerns of space for the actual funeral, the viewing evening was for everyone, family and friends, but the funeral the next day was mainly for family.  We're a big crowd!

Leon had a blast with all his boy cousins, but especially my nephew, who is around his age.

EARLY the next morning, my sisters, some nieces, nephews and even my brother's "girl" friend (they don't label things...) met at the hall and got the tables set up, food started and everything organized for later.  

And then we filled up the church yet again with just family.

My oldest sister and her son.

You can see the hand print quilt in the background.  It will be buried with Mom.

My dad gave her a kiss and said Goodbye.  Oh my...  

The funeral director hustled all the immediate family upstairs for a quick prayer before the service began.  Wow, there were a lot of us.  Then a final goodbye to Mom as we walked back in.  Two other sisters and myself walked in with Dad and sat with him throughout.  It was a beautiful service.

Afterwards, we walked with him outside as the oldest grandsons carried Mom out to the hearse with a crowd of the younger ones following.  Then we hustled over to the hall and prepared to feed almost 200 hundred people.    

The internment will be in another month or so.  The family cemetery is out in the country and several grandkids weren't able to make it to the funeral, being the middle of the week.

So this will be perfect.

 I have no pictures of the dinner as we were pretty rushed.  Lots to do...  But suffice it to say, everyone got food and a place to sit.    There was only one extra table left unused!  Amazing!  I finally sat down with Robb, Meri, my brother and his girl.  Ryan had been sick that morning and had missed the funeral, but he put in an appearance at the dinner and then went to sleep in the car.  

Afterwards, everyone stuck around and helped clean up and pack up the cars.  We came away with a huge tray of fried chicken and a large bag of grape salad.  We've been thawing one bag at a time and it'll feed us for probably another day or so.  Ryan's been making tacos.  

My mom had a great send off.  

There are no more tears in heaven, so I know for a fact that she's not looking down on us.  It would break her heart.  She's having a wonderful time and I just have to wait to see her again.

Another Monday.

It was a difficult weekend.  If you want to just X on the corner of your browser now, I completely understand.  

Robb was out of town on Friday and Saturday, out to Wisconsin to trade cars with Maddy and Matthew.  While I was totally jealous of his trip to see them, I was also anxious to see my mom and dad too.  

Meri came with me again.  Third weekend in a row!  She's great.  We know exactly which areas on the trip are cell phone dead zones now and can almost tell you which mile markers to just turn off your movie/spotify/youtube videos and just tune into a local radio station.  Or just talk...  

We left early again and got into my hometown around 8am.  Picked up the keys, kissed Dad and headed to the church to work on the coffin again.  The time just flew and suddenly it was 10am already.  Most of the final work was on me.  Meri was watching the Twilight series and using up my data plan while I hot glued, stapled and sewed more ribbon strips.  

At 10, we headed over the nursing home to see the folks.  We invited Mom to go thrifting with us at a nearby Goodwill.  She's always been gung ho for thrifting and hadn't wanted to leave the nursing home for some time except for attending church with Dad, so this was a big deal that she went with us.  

I held her hand as we browsed and she picked out a summer shirt for herself, a lion costume for a great grandchild and a London mug for Dad.  Meri went off and browsed for clothes for herself.  Mom sat down in any chair that she saw and rested.  When she and I were done, we sat down and looked through my cell phone pics until Meri was done, then headed back to the home.  Dad was up from his 2nd nap of the day and joined us for lunch in the dining room.

For years, I've told the kids how when I go to take a picture of Mom, she always puts something in her mouth.  In her opinion, a photo is more interesting if there is action.  As far as I can see, it just makes you look like you eat all the time...  So when I asked Meri and Mom to get together for a pic at lunch time, Mom instantly grabbed her bottle of water and put it up to her mouth.  MOM!!!  So Meri filled in for her and did the action part of it instead.  sigh...  Will I GET a good picture with those two?

Then when they went down for their 3rd nap of the day, Meri and I headed back to the church.  We actually got done with the coffin lining!  It took two weekends and lots of work in between, but it's done.  I had brought lots of family photos to stick in the pockets but Meri took the picture of that and I don't have a copy yet.  Will show that later.

We didn't get done in time to join Mom, Dad and a sister for afternoon chapel at the nursing home, so I took Meri to ye ol' ice cream joint where my dad would take us for the tallest ice cream cones you could imagine after a garbage dump run on Saturdays.  YUMM!!!  They don't make them that tall any more but the guy working there tried his best when I told him how tall they used to be.

As I drove along, I'd point out what used to be there and apparently Meri decided to get snarky...  She'd point to a car wash and say, "That's where I got picked up by the police for loitering on the corner."  "And that's where I used to... " fill in the blank...  It's a good thing I'd already bought her ice cream, because little girls who mock their mothers, don't GET ice cream.

We got back to the nursing home and spent maybe 30 minutes visiting.  I would have liked more time, but after talking with Robb, found out that the central to eastern part of Iowa was very yucky due to all the snow they had and were getting.  Since I was on the west side of Iowa, I didn't know how far I'd be able to drive without snow and ice hindering us.

I feel bad that we couldn't stay longer, but promised Robb that we'd be safe.  So we said our goodbyes and Dad left at the same time, leaving Mom at the door waving to us as we drove away.  I plan to come back next Saturday too.  

But this time was the hardest to leave.  Mom is getting more and more jaundiced every day and is so much more colorful than last week.  

I've cried a lot spontaneously in the last couple days, but keeping busy helps.

The puzzle is almost done.

the Christmas decor is 50% put away.

laundry is getting caught up.

I'm not sure what is going to happen, but this week, I live in hope that I get to see her again this next weekend.

The Pieces Are Coming Together

Here is the puzzle that I started just before Christmas and my nieces and nephews completed it while they were here.  They pulled it all apart and now it's my turn.  

It's been moved onto my sewing cutting board so we could have the dining room table for Meri's birthday dinner, but yesterday I wanted my cutting board back, so now it's back at the table.

All the meticulous sorting of pieces corrupted...  sigh.

Oh well.  I did a quick sort for a while last night and then again this morning after Leon got onto the school bus, which arrived 4.5 minutes earlier than they usually do.  EGADS!  RUN!!!!

Anyway, the puzzle is coming together.

 It's as good as done.

As for my labor of love, I've got a cloth hemmed for the under pillow and the scarf thingy done for the top of the coffin.  

I've still go the curtain to complete and ribbon to make from all the satin remnants to hot glue into place and cover up all my stapling mistakes in the lid.

Meri and I will go again on Saturday and finish it all up.  

I plan to take some old photos for Mom to look at while we're there too.  Should be a memorable time. :)

Hard to believe that in exactly one week, I would have been flying to Florida for the cruise.

That can wait.

Another Weekend, Another Roadtrip

On Saturday, Meri and I headed back to see my parents again.  But we left at 5am because we had a job to do.

I brought my sewing machine, cutting board, iron and a slew of other supplies and we got to work on lining the coffin.  It's an inevitability and needs to be done eventually.  and my great honor.

We stopped at my sister's to get the key to the church and I saw my dad there.  Melanie said that he knew what I was up to, so he gave me another hug and said "Do a good job, she deserves it."

Whew...

So while Meri worked on stapling in the batting, I worked on other things that didn't really need to get done at this time...  I don't know what I was thinking...  I had started on the scarf thingy that drapes over the coffin, but I really should have started on the inside of the lid.  I can always do the scarf thingy when I get home.  

So Meri ironed the ruffle and started stapling that in, when we realized it almost 10:30 and we wanted to go see Mom and Dad.  

We visited with them and a couple sisters and a nephew and niece.  

Mom was confused as to why all the company every single weekend.  

Another sister was coming on Sunday too.

But you never know what could happen nor how soon.  Every minute counts.

And she was confused as to why her skin is getting so yellow.  

Tammy told her to lay out in a direct sun spot in the nursing home with next to no clothes on, but Mom didn't like that idea.  She WILL sit in the sun more though.  and drink even MORE water.  However even that isn't going to slow down what's happening to her.

I attempted to get a selfie with my folks and this was the best I could do.  Yikes, I suck!  

But I almost like this one better than the one my nephew took of us.

What is the deal with my hair?!  sigh...

Oh well.  

My brother picked up Meri and gave her a tour through an abandoned synagogue in town.  He works for the city and told me about it once.  I knew Meri would love exploring it.  After getting permission for Saturday, they headed out for an adventure.  What an incredible place!  Meri took tons of pics and Mark gave me a brilliant idea for a birthday present for Meri.  More on that later.

While they did that and Mom and Dad had lunch and their nap, I went back to the church with Melanie and company and after a quick lunch, I got back to work on the coffin.  Meri arrived after her adventure and jumped back into the stapling.    

She was SUCH a good help to me!!  And she took her part of the project very seriously as this was her gift to grandma.

However we had some moments of levity, when she tried a piece of my fabric artwork on as a cap.  She looks a bit Amish, doesn't she?

We worked until 2:30 and then went back to see Mom and Dad again.  My sister and nephew from Kentucky were there again, so we had some fun conversations.  Mom told Meri that her hair was beautiful and Meri showed her before and after photos of when she had to dye her hair for her role as Belle in Beauty and the Beast.  Suddenly Mom didn't want to slight anyone so she said that Scott's hair was also beautiful and so was Tammy's.  "Did I miss anyone?" she asked?  

I raised my hand and said, you missed me!  She smiled and said "Yes, I did."

Sigh... to be dissed by your own mother... ;) lol

I really need to pay more attention to my hair.

After the visit, Meri and I stopped by my brother's house because she had forgotten some things in his car and she still had his head-lamp in her purse that he'd loaned her. 

He lives past the cemetery that I used to ride my moped through or use as a short cut to work as a teenager.  They've since closed off the roads that I used.  darn.  But I was able to show Meri my favorite tombstone.  

How many people have a favorite tombstone??...

Isn't this beautiful?  And it fits their family name SO well!

Then went back to the church again to wrap things up.  We didn't get as far as I'd wanted, but I have a laundry list of things to do this week and me with maybe one other will head back on Saturday to finish what's left.

Here's where we left it.  Lots to do yet, and I'm not sure I like how the photo pockets are puckering a little here and there.  It'll look different with actual photos tucked in.  We'll probably hot glue the photos in as well to keep them from falling out.

After cleaning up and packing up my sewing supplies again, we left the keys where my sister could find them and headed out.

On our way out of town, I remembered that I was going to take Meri to the Hard Rock Cafe in town so she could get a souvenir.  She has various collections of things and has had different collections all of her life.  As a kid, it was bells, then snow globes.  Now it's shot glasses (not that she's old enough to use them, but she's ready for when she turns 21...)

They didn't have one that she liked, so she settled on a glass and we took the opportunity for a pic with Johnny Cash.

We got home by 8:30 and Meri rushed home to take care of her dog who had been cooped up all day waiting for her.

On Sunday, everyone sang Happy Birthday to Meri at church and then she ran off to shop for the afternoon with friends.  Robb picked up Leon while I did some grocery shopping for Meri's birthday dinner that evening.

Then a quick visit with my bestie before cooking our hearts out for the dinner. 

Meri requested beef/snow pea stir fry and since we have people in the house who can't handle beef, we also made a chicken stir fry.  She also requested cauliflower rice and we made regular rice as an option too.  For dessert, Meri usually has an ice cream cake because she hates cake, but saw a recipe for Banana Foster's upside down cake and thought she'd like to have that this year.  So I made that.  It has dark rum in it.  Only 2 tablespoons and it cooks out, but the smallest quantity I could buy was almost a quart.  yikes!  I looked like a boozer in HyVee and wouldn't you just know it... I ran into someone I knew... sigh.

So Robb was chopping everything under the sun and I was cooking up a storm.  EVERY crock pot,  pot, pan, dish, silverware bit and china piece was used.  It took 2 hours this morning to wash everything up and get the kitchen back to normal.  But it was worth it. 

You only turn 19 once.

Besides plenty of Ginger Brew, we gave Meri a vacuum cleaner and a head lamp that Mark recommended for her explorations.  

Two of her friends came along for dinner and we all had a great time.  Maddy even DUOed with us after Meri had already blown out the candle, but we did a re-creation of the singing and blowing it out just for her so she'd feel like she was there.

Anyway, that was the weekend.  And as I've said before... I need another.