And suddenly...

That Thursday after Robb died, Maddy, Matthew, Meri and Shub took me shopping.  I needed clothes suitable for the visitation and the funeral.  Nothing in my closet was appropriate.  I think most of my clothes were made with a cruise in mind...  

Matthew and Shub were along for the ride and to drive us.  They were awesome and so patient sitting on the lounging chairs outside of the fitting rooms.  The girls ran and got me different sizes and gave me advice on things.  

I felt fat.

But in the end, I found some black (who am I kidding - just assume all is black because it was) slacks with blazer and tank top for Friday night's visitation and then a dress with black tights for the funeral itself.  All of which I felt comfortable in, until my sisters warned me that the slinky tank top kept sliding down to show my cleavage... :)  Whoops!  I wore two necklaces that Robb had given me that were beautiful.  A pearl necklace and a pendant of green ivy.  I was given Robb's rings after the funeral and put them on the pearls.  I bought a chain and wear his ring around my neck most days.  Just realized that I'm not at the moment but will remedy that.

While we were out, someone stopped by with 3 tubs of chili for our family!  Ryan didn't know who it was and said it was the Gideon Bible people.  REALLY?!!  We thought Well MAYBE since Covid, they're giving out chili instead of Bibles...  So that was the mystery until Saturday when Ryan finally brought the business card that the man had given him to us.  OHHHHH!!!! It's HIM!  A dear dear friend of Robbs that had just started working for Gideon International, the Bible people.  Well that makes sense!

That Friday, the kids and I, mostly Maddy, got the picture boards ready.  We'd bought two tri fold boards and even sent off Matthew to get a third, but they filled up so quickly that I was looking around the garage for old tri-folds the kids had used in school projects.  Found one that Maddy had done in college and with her permission, tore everything off of it and filled it up too.  We had pictures that Margaret and I had pulled out of a basket of photos from when Robb was young all the way up to current.  

I also had a closet door that I'd covered with fabric for another project but we stuck 8x10s of Robb and me, each of the kids with him and one of Leon with him.  It's earned a permanent spot in our house now.

That Friday night, seeing Robb in the casket was heartbreaking but he looked SO distinguished with his goatee, glasses and suit from Maddy's wedding.  AND he was wearing both his wedding ring on one hand and one of the rubber rings on his other.   He wore his actual wedding ring so rarely because he got a radiator burn 3 weeks after our wedding and since then his hands swelled so much at certain parts of the day that he never got in the habit of wearing it again.  I did agonize over which rubber ring to have on him.  The gray?  The camoflage?  I settled on the gray as it matched his clothes.

He looked SO natural like he was just sleeping.  And my bi-focals kept playing tricks on me, showing movement where there was none.  The girls told me later, they were having that same problem.

I hugged SO many people that evening.  A few I'd never met before but had gone to high school with Robb or were his clients.

Margaret had gone to stay at her son's house an hour away but was there that evening and of course the next day for the funeral.  Plans are in the works to move her to assisted living arrangements.  Her remaining children are taking good care of her.

The funeral was surreal.  The kids had me surrounded constantly.  Since our pastor that had just retired the previous weekend knew Robb so well, he did the sermon and it was perfect.  JUST how Robb would have wanted.  Although I'm sure Jesus already knows how to play computer games and Robb doesn't have to teach him.  I'm so glad he came out of retirement briefly for this tribute for his friend.

Meri tucked an empty Diet Dr Pepper can, a box of Hot Tamales candy and something else into the coffin under the curtain.  Leon put an art project that Grandpa had cut out for him in.  I found out later that Robb's brother had put a full plastic bottle of DDP and another box of Hot Tamales in also.  I'm glad it was a bottle and not a can or it would have exploded.

The church was packed, and I mean packed.  College friends took up almost two rows alone!  The funeral director and members of our congregation scoured the church for chairs and just when they thought everyone was seated, ten more walked in the door.  So standing room only.  Robb would have loved that!

Afterwards, was the interment at the cemetery and EVERYONE joined us!  I thought it was going to be a smallish group there but everyone followed the hearse and walked from all over the small cemetery to the tent where the vacancy pastor (without a coat or gloves or hat) gave a prayer.  Even though the sun was out and it was reasonable warm (40s), the wind out on the prairie was bitter cold.  

After that we all drove out to the hall and it was lovely!  The table runners I'd made were a bit short but that's ok.  The food was hot and ready to be served out.  The picture boards that the kids had put together were up there again.  Sisters had brought a bunch of flowers to the hall to decorate some of the tables.  The funeral home took the rest to our house and loaded up the table and counter with them.  They did leave some at the church for that weekend, but church was cancelled due to a blizzard and I brought them home a couple days later so they could be enjoyed.

The slideshow was on constantly on a big screen, there was a microphone and I encouraged people to tell stories about Robb during dinner.  Some had the guts and were able to keep their composure and tell stories.  Such great stories and I'd forgotten about the Surge for the nephews incident!  It was so nice to hear them.

Two bagpipers were there and played a lot of songs.  It was wonderful!  One of them was Robb's bagpipe teacher.  Her husband died last year.

Towards the end, I got up and thanked everyone and said that this is a party that Robb would have LOVED and he would also have said, "If anyone is still in town tomorrow morning, Come on over to my house for breakfast!"  and he WOULD have!!!!  But I emphasized, PLEASE DON'T!

I let my sister Tammy and her son come over tho for breakfast the next day.  They weren't leaving until mid morning anyway to beat the upcoming blizzard.  Maddy and Meri tried their hand at two of Robb's breakfast casserole recipes and they were delicious.

Maddy helped me get some financial lists ready and find out all of Robb's life insurance stuff.  Matthew helped me find addresses for almost everyone that I'll be sending a thank you to.  Meri made lists for me to do each day to keep me busy.

Maddy and Matthew left that Monday and Meri took the day off too and stayed with me.  I had intended to go back to work that Tuesday, but my boss was so kind.  "Only come back when you are absolutely ready!"  So I took that week off too.  So many phone calls, preserving flowers, crying, cleaning up little areas in the house that were Robb's areas.  Who else is going to do it?!

DUO calls with Maddy and the "girls".

I finally mailed the claim forms off to the insurance companies today.  OH! I also found out that Robb's unused sick time and vacation days were to be paid out to me and that is SUCH a blessing!!! All of the unused rolled over year to year and it was such a surprise!  I wish tho that we'd been able to take more vacations...

We haven't decided on a grave stone yet.  We want to shop around a little more but it will definitely have a bagpiper on it.  Not sure what my emblem will be...  

Since I had hugged SO many people I got Covid tested on Thursday.  Still negative!!!  Almost everyone wore masks so I didn't anticipate anything.  But it made the kids feel more comfortable.

Will be spending the rest of my week's spare time listening to the videos we took of the memories.