Showing posts with label Robb. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Robb. Show all posts

Wednesday, August 20, 2025

God Winks/Nudges/Miracles

I get miracles done every day from God!

Some I can tell you about and some I won't, because you don't need to know ALL my business!

Here are a couple that I CAN tell you about.

Robb and I put together that cookbook of all our family favorite recipes, had it printed into a book and given out for Christmas presents. I use mine a few times a week!  That was the fall before he passed. Miracle #1

4 years ago, in the summer after my dear husband died, I had thought to make an external backup of all the thousands (and I'm not kidding) photos off my desktop computer. Miracle #2.


Shortly after that, I thought to make a file of all the Instant Messages that we'd sent back and forth over the past several years.  He and I both were on IM for our jobs and we thought we'd add each other for quick notes.  Most like, "Hey - what's the Amazon password?"  or "What should we have for supper?" or "I found Maddy on the church service camera, here you go!"  I had been saving those photos to put into a book for Maddy's college graduation gift. Did it and it was great! :) But that was a few years before.

Within a few weeks of that backup and just after I'd created that file, we had a bad storm and a power surge took out my surge protector, computer and hard drive.  I took it to some IT guys I know and they couldn't access the drive.  I was heartbroken. again.

But I hung onto that drive and stored it away just in case.  I didn't have the money to send it off somewhere at the time so it sat inside an old purse on top of my hutch.

Recently, due to an undisclosed miracle, I thought to check online for a data recovery service that could retrieve data off that drive.  I got in touch with one company, that I thought was in Des Moines, but turned out to be on the east coast.  The quote was "somewhere between $400 - $4000".  
whew.  How much do I REALLY need that data?
I mean, I do know the password to Amazon nowadays...
Actually I did just look it up via a text message to Robb from 2020. So I have other means to get that info now.

and I did not want to ship off the drive somewhere where I don't know the people.  So I looked online again for someone local.  Found one in the next big town over and made a call.  I got an appointment and brought my hard drive in.

Met with a woman a little older than my son and she took all my information and gave me the cost.  Around $130.  SOLD!  And she'd let me know within a few days if there was something they could do. If not, then no charge and I'd need to send it to the $400 people.  ok.  I'm giving you a shot here and I prayed a lot about it.  Miracle #3

And when she got my info, she said coyly, "you know...  You and I know each other..."
do we? sort of creepy...

Her kid sister went to the same tiny day care that my son did 33 years ago!  The sister's name was Erica, but Ryan called her KaKa, because he was just a toddler!  She was instrumental in his first sentence!

"KaKa" then motioned with his hand to "come here!"

lol!  Apparently that nickname stuck for her but she doesn't give it to new friends.  It's mostly  just a family name.

Well, KaKa's big sister contacted me on Monday of this week.  She was able to get 80% of the hard drive data!  Some is just lost but it's probably photos that I've already got. hopefully!  Miracle #4

Oh and she told me that most external hard drives will sort of start flaking out at around 5 years. Yikes!  I've had this one for 4.5 years! The timing was perfect! Miracle #5

So I purchased an SSD external hard drive with 2 terabytes of space on it for only $90!  Isn't it cute?
And being an SSD type, it should not deteriorate like the HDD kinds. Miracle #6


The orange one was only 1 tb and THAT cost $90 4.5 years ago.

I can't wait until a 10 tb drive costs $25!
That would truly be another miracle!

Friday, June 20, 2025

It's in the Jeans and Rust

 I have a chair that was Robb's dad's favorite chair, probably from when he was in seminary.  It's old.  And when I say old, I mean, OOO.L.DDD!  It was in our bedroom for years and Robb loved it.  After that, it had been given to various kids for their rooms, the last one was Maddy, I think.  But it was left at home when she moved away.  So I guess it's mine again.  The matching ottoman is in our garage storage room and that'll be a project for another day/month/year.

Somehow the top back had gotten broken and the poor thing sat in the garage for several years with my honest intention of someday fixing it up and making it part of our lives again.  I plan to use Robb's old jeans to re-cover it.  What else can I make of them?

Yesterday was the day I chose to start in!

No one was home so over my lunch hour, I moved it, by myself, up the stairs to my bedroom so I could watch Sherlock as I worked on it.  This is me on the stairs trying to not knock over canned goods I have stored there.  I did take a break after this brutal feat of strength.

Darn my hobbies!

In stripping off the old worn vinyl, I found several boards broken on just the bottom of the chair without even bringing the top board into play.  Yikes!  Who's been throwing this thing around?!  

And I kid you not.  There were about 1235 little tiny nails per side in various areas holding it all together.  And cardboard.  Not sure when staple guns were invented but not when THIS baby was put together!  Bunches of change fell out along with candy wrappers.  I've been picking up all the tiny nails every time I go in the room now.  I THOUGHT I was being careful, but here we are.

In the process of stripping it to it's bare bones, I got scraped a couple times on the little nails, breaking the skin. whoops!

And when attempting to place a screw and fix a board, the drill slipped a few times and punctured the fleshy part of my hand between the thumb and first finger. EEW!!!  

hydrogen peroxide
band aides

It was like Robb was telling me to give up and pitch the thing!  But I'm pretending I'm not getting the message.  It's a sentimental journey.  And I've literally got skin in the game.


Long about 4pm, I started wondering when I'd had my last tetanus shot. Hmm..  Seems like the last one I could remember was 1989 when Robb and I were helping my dad tear down a barn and I stepped on a nail.  It went through my shoe into my foot.  So yesterday, I called our family doctor. They looked it up on the national registry and the last time THEY found recorded was 1973.  Probably just in time for kindergarten or first grade.

Because we ALL know how rusty the 1970s playground equipment could get.

It was time to get another tetanus shot. shoot.  In addition to that, I brought up my glucose charting I've been doing.  I got confirmation that my suspicion of pre-diabetes was correct.  My doctor had my A1C checked (5.9) and then gave me info and resources for recipes and of course the tetanus shot.

As Calvin in the old cartoon strip would say, "I'm just a little pink pin cushion to you guys!" 
poke poke poke.

So yeah.  no sugar, breads, potatoes, etc for THIS gal!  Not anymore sunshine!

sigh.

My A1C is not terrible but the switch has been flipped.  I need to be lo-carb and watching my carb intake from this point on.

But at least now I won't get lockjaw from Robb's chair!  HA to YOU Robb!  I WILL get this chair put back together!  It just looks pretty sad so far.

Wednesday, May 15, 2024

Anniversaries and Cheese cake

 Yesterday was Robb and my wedding anniversary, my third one without him.

I spent the day working and doing laundry and car juggling with Ryan and our car guy, grabbing Aggie from daycare on the way back to the house.  I did stop out at the cemetery this morning to just talk a little and contemplated taking the full Diet Doctor Pepper 20 oz bottle away that a college friend put there last week when he stopped by.  But decided to leave it there until the cemetery people clear it away.  It's just sitting on the stone, not hurting anyone.

I went ahead and made myself an early supper of spinach/egg white tortilla stuffed with chicken, cheese and tomatoes and it did NOT turn out as expected but I still ate it and probably had green stuff in my teeth for a while.  About that time, Jen got home from work and asked what time Meri and her bf would be over for tacos. Um, it's Monday...  No it's not.  

GASP!  Time to thaw the hamburger!!!

Meri and bf Ryan came over with Reedus the dog and we all had a really nice dinner of tacos.  Since I'd already eaten, I made an impromptu plate of nachos with some Quest chips and little low fat cheese and salsa.

Meri had made some cheese cakes for Ryan's mom for Mother's Day and brought them with her.  I made a tiny sampler plate of both types (New York Style and another plain with a top layer of chocolate ganache) and little dibbles of the various homemade toppings, (strawberry, lemon curd and salted caramel).  OH it was so yummy!!!  

Perfect way to end a beautiful day!

Regarding my Optavia plan, except for the extra nachos and cheesecake, I stayed on plan yesterday and when I weighed myself this morning, I had NOT gained.  I didn't lose anything either but did NOT gain!  So that's a win in my book.  I'm 3 pounds away from my goal and I plan to stay on it until June 1st, then will transition back into normal foods.  I've lost 29 pounds!!!  I confessed to my bestie coach this morning.  She forgave me!

Now on to Wednesday, which seems like ANOTHER Monday.

Thursday, December 7, 2023

Tis the Season

We celebrated McThankMas with Robb's side of the family this weekend!  Pasta bar and lots of goodies.  YUM!  I gained 4 pounds.  I'm trying to work it off but cripes.


It was a lot of fun getting together with everyone.  


Hadn't seen some of them since last year and a couple for several years.  And met a couple new grandnephew/nieces this time too.


Also had a wedding shower for a nephew and his fiance who are getting married this next summer.

My sister-in-law knocked herself out with her planning and organizational skills.  She's amazing!
However after only cooking half the pasta, we still had twice as much as we needed.  


Cathy also made some fantastic centerpieces on the tables.  There were 3 Christmas Vacation themed. One A Christmas Story 


and even one for Robb's mom, based on Hallmark movies with a Hallmark Bingo game.


There was a ton of spaghetti sauce leftover and I brought home the opened stuff so she wouldn't have to throw it out as she was suggesting or tote it home, four hours away.  I got it all canned up yesterday in various sizes so we can use some for pizza sauce too.  

We also have a few quarts of the Elfredo sauce leftover too.  I have been trying to eat it up as much as I can and that might be related to the weight gain issue...  I am doing keto but the heavy whipping cream in it might be kicking my butt.

Jen and I agreed to freeze it in manageable portions as I can't can it easily.

I did find out that if you heat up a bowl of it and then chop up a couple hard boiled eggs and mix it together, it's pretty good!  I used up the last of the hard boiled eggs this morning so I'll have to be creative for breakfast tomorrrow.  Elfredo sauce over spinach?  Not bread, I can't do that.
hmmm

Anyway, we played Apple Schmear and hit apples all over the deck.  I hit one and found myself in a cloudy mist of apple juice!  The kids all cleaned up all the apple bits and washed off the windows. 

Not sure what they were all looking at over the edge of the deck, but my BeReal app popped up and I am a slave to the light of the waffle iron BeReal App.


 Everyone helped with the cleanup and it got clean, lickedy split.  

The house is all decked out for Christmas now.  I'm NOT going to risk my neck, lining the roof with lights.  I'm just decorating the porch this year.  Maybe I'll feel more energetic next year and put a HUGE star and Santa on the roof. HA!  Probs not, even if I DO feel energetic.

Got my nativity up and the porch goose is gracing a beautiful bench, given me by my bestie when she moved.


The circle light thingy was inspired by a decoration I saw at our local Earl May garden center.  I had found a log holder at a garage sale last summer, so I strung it up with lights and positioned a plasticky wreath in the center with lights too.  At night it looks pretty cool!  And then of course, Robb's leg lamp in the window.


There!

AND Robb's bagpipe hat along with the gold colored crown of thorns AND the 18 year old paper star that Meri made in kindergarten for the top of the tree.


Now the rest of the season is mine to enjoy!!!
Well, if I don't count all the things I HAVE to do.

I'm altering a sparkly dress to wear to a candlelight concert this weekend.  A friend from my widow group invited me to go along with her.  Looking forward to dressing UP!

Wednesday, November 9, 2022

These are the socks that never end

 I just checked with Biolife and can go back next Tuesday. woohoo!  Hopefully I'll be negative by this weekend.  I hope to test again on Friday.  Still no symptoms to speak of.

Last night, the girls, Ryan (Meri's bf) and I played UNO online and were on a DUO call at the same time.  It was a lot of fun and I hope we do that again sometime soon.  This isolation is really bothering me.  

I spent some time in Robb's closet yesterday, reorganizing it.  It's so much neater now and all the extra junk that was in there is out.  Mostly boxes of mismatched socks and some more outgrown clothing of Leons.  Maybe one more bag of Maddy's clothes.  I'll make her go thru that when she can come back in here safely.  The suitcases are full of Robb's clothes.  I'll do something with them some day.  Just not yet.  About 30 ties hanging behind each door on racks.

That's my wedding dress in the box on the top shelf.  There are also several shelves to the right that have a teensy bit of Robb's Sci-Fi books (the rest are packed up in the garage), medical stuff like knee brace, wrist brace, etc.  Whenever I find something around the house that fits that category, it goes on that shelf.  And memorabilia that was Robb's, like an old Thundercats lunch box he was given as a gag gift.  He LOVED Thundercats in college and a bunch of his college friends would get together at the time it was on tv and watch it together.

I don't know why I have all these plastic horses in here...  Probably to keep them safe for grandkids.

The beer that Rod Stewart gave him when his pipe band opened for Rod's concert.  Rod didn't PERSONALLY give the beer, but had some lackey bring a cooler of it for the whole band.  So since Robb didn't drink, he kept it as a souvenir.  

Anyway, I partnered socks.  Does anyone else say "partnered" or do you "match" socks?  I've always called it "partnering".  It's in my bloodline to call it that.  Don't I sound like a cowgirl?!  I heaped them all on my bed and sorted them out, partnering as I went.  Then into each pile of like type socks, sorted deeper.  These have stripes, these have polka dots, etc.

This representation is in NO means all of the socks.  There was a LOT more than this.

As I partnered and looked for a match, I realized, why am I looking for a match for a sock that not only has the heel worn out, but is uglier than sin?  No one has worn this sock for over 20 years, why do I care about it? *pitched it*  Those were mostly girl socks.  I'm sure I'll regret it in 3 months when I find the partner for it behind the dryer.

I don't feel like pitching any of Robb's holey socks yet.  Ryan wears his socks so I keep them in a separate bin still.  Ryan will raid it when he needs to and I'm sure Leon will someday too.  For now, the bin is in here with me though.

Here's to another productive, isolated day, another problem area to get cleaned up.

Tuesday, March 22, 2022

Twists galore

 Got the battery replaced!!!  There was a question because it had been installed but I emphasized that I'd JUST bought it that morning and the other guy said, ok. :)

Also got the tire and because this car is just a bucket of rust, I had to wait until Jen got home because the hydraulic jack was in that car and I felt safer with that one.  She and I got the tire off and inspected the junk behind.  I pulled out an exacto knife and cut off the rubber flap that got flipped all around.  She pulled off part of the front bumper and we used black duct tape to hold the bumper on. The handy woman's secret weapon!  Colored duct tape.

I drove it around the block and woohoo!  It didn't fall apart!  As soon as we have time tho, I want to get it into my car guy and have him check it over.  I still need to get the spare tire replaced too.  

Ugg...  the agony of being the remaining responsible one.

As for the new battery, it didn't work.  And when I plopped in the old battery again, it wouldn't even start with a jump start.  What is the DEAL?!!!  So I put in the new one and it probably needs new cable ends or some corrosion cleaned off or something.  I don't know!  Meri and Ryan (bf) will take a look next time they're here and see if they can figure it out.

Jen's car will be fixed by Friday and then I'll get my van back.

AND today is my darling's birthday!  2nd in heaven.  It's hard to believe that I'm older than him.  Even harder to believe that he's not ever coming back.

Whew!  Trust me to put a downer on a "I'm a woman, hear me roar!" post.

Wednesday, February 16, 2022

Valentine events

I spent Valentine's late afternoon playing with Maddy's dogs, then that evening with all my children. They brought fixing for salads, chicken cacciatore and cheesecake and then we played board games.   My kids are so sweet to give up time with their significant other to spend it along with them AND me on such a romantic holiday.

Then yesterday, I woke up at 5am and while still in bed, started hunting down a song for Robb's video.  I started looking through songs from the 80s. nope.  Then all our favorite Celtic songs, then branched into Lord of the Dance and was suddenly inspired by Ronin Hardiman's Anthem album, finding the song Heaven.  It made me ugly cry and I felt like they wrote it specifically with me in mind...  I transferred the memorial slideshow to a different computer so Ryan could attach the song to it.  Then I spent the rest of the day doing mundane things and binge watching more Modern Family.  I took a total of 3 Aleve, ate a lot of junk and laid on my bed.

No one at work contacted me AT ALL!  I'm proud of them for not calling, even though all hell broke loose while I was out.  That ALWAYS happens on my days off...  It wasn't my fault but clients do things randomly that can screw things up.  Clients just plan it for when I'm out I guess... I just got off the phone with my boss and I have a list of stuff to work through today.  He was bound and determined not to let anyone call me yesterday.  He's great.

Late in the afternoon, I picked up Meri and we went over to Maddy's apartment, played with her dogs and watched old home movies on her tv. Chromecast is so handy.  Then headed back to my house where they picked up pizza for supper.  After supper, we played some Jackbox with everyone for a bit, reminisced for a bit and then the girls stayed overnight with me.  We got up at 5 and enjoyed some cappuccinos and breakfast with Ryan before the girls left to start their days.  I'm glad they stayed over.

Anyway, that was my day.  I'm so relieved that God kept us in such good care all last year and that the kids and I have become so much closer in all ways.  Robb would have loved this.

Wednesday, February 9, 2022

Porky Pig Dreams

 Wow I missed blogging yesterday!  The week is getting away from me!

and don't worry, even though all the following paragraphs appear to be SO different, they do all relate.

I FINALLY finished watching that new Nicholas Cage movie, "Pig".  It took several weeks with a lot of Modern Family episodes in between.  Cage is a truffle hunter whose pig is stolen from him and he goes on a rampage to get her back.  All my life I thought truffles were made of chocolate and if your pig found one, you'd have to tackle it to the ground to make sure you get the little delicacy before it snarfed it all.  Why I thought chocolate balls grew underground is beyond me.

So anyway

YEARS ago.. OK, I'm pretty sure it was Maddy... , (Robb would have remembered which daughter)  (I miss asking him these mundane questions...)

But she would watch Diagnosis Murder with Grandma ALL the time and decided she wanted to be a Pathologist.  Because duh... Pathologist's solve mysteries and get their own tv shows!

The reason I brought that up was that I saw a post on some FB group about someone's 12 year old daughter, who wanted to be a mushroom scientist, and this was the cake she had made for her daughter's birthday.


Isn't it adorable??! And after looking at it closer, is so simple...

And the reason I loved it SO much is because last week, Leon announced to me that he wants to be a Mycologist when he grows up. ??? What's that?!
And yet, I knew, sort of.  He is fascinated by mushrooms and every time we go to the library he gets a new book on the subject.  He can tell you ANYTHING you never needed to know about mushrooms, their spores, where they grow, anything.

I'm thinking about making him this cake for his birthday in a couple weeks.

And buying him a pig.

Tuesday, February 1, 2022

Randomness and Valentine's Day

Ugg...  My power steering fluid leak in my minivan has gotten worse.  Now it's hard to steer even if you keep putting fluid in.  SO... I've put a call in to my car guy and it's going in tonight.  Cross your fingers and say a prayer that it's as simple as slapping some duct tape on the spot where the leak is happening and squirting a little grease here or there.

Ryan has his soundproof room set up in Robb's old closet now and is ready to start recording the voice over for his video that he's created.  It has to do with a video game called Dark Souls and how to play the entire game as a pacifist.  It's very clever and if you're in the gaming world, I'm sure it would make sense to you.  I hope it gets him where he wants to go.

As for now, all the stuff from Robb's closet is sitting in his bath tub.  I've only used that whirlpool bath once since he passed.  The twins used it a lot more when they were here.  Just DON'T turn on the faucet!!!  Or I will make you hurt.

I had to put two jars of canned beans down the garbage disposal this morning.  The seal broke on them, who knows when?  What a shame!  Oh well.  I'm going to start using my stash more often.

I mentioned that I'd baked a ton of chicken drum sticks that I got at Sam's club for cheap.  I sealed them up in packets of 5 and froze them.  For dinner last night, I pulled out a packet and put them straight in the air fryer for roughly 20 minutes.  They turned out SO good.  I may fudge around on the air frying time next time, but Leon liked them!

And another miracle...  I opened a can of my homemade french fries and air fried those too, sprinkling some french fry seasoning on them and ooh... Leon liked them too!  I may experiment a bit more with those too.  Maybe bake them with a light oil drizzle... hmmm...  NEXT diet cheat day!

I made a collage this morning that I'm going to frame and hang next to my bed this Valentine's Day.  I will pick it up at Walmart this afternoon.  What do you think?


The top right picture was the last together photo we took, a week before he passed.
I need to go get some kleenex for my office.

Wednesday, December 15, 2021

Catching up again...

 Sigh...  It's been a while.  Lots has happened.  Let me list them.

1) The twins FINALLY went home the Tuesday before Thanksgiving.  Three and a half months of toddlers in the house!  Even though it's been 3 weeks since, I still have fingerprint smudges on my living room windows and babyproofing all over the house unless Leon gets sick of it and yanks them off.

Left to right: Nova, her dad, Luke, Ryan.

2) Matthew moved to town a month ago and now 98% of their stuff is here.  He's learning the ropes of a new library and figuring out how to balance work, the apartment and dogs.  Maddy moves here Christmas day!  I've been walking the dogs during the weekdays in the afternoons and checking out books from HIS library instead of ours.

3) Now that the twins were gone, I was able to get into my sewing room and while it still has the decor from when Maddy and Meri shared it 15 years ago, my sewing stuff and fabrics are all around me.  I feel like I'm home.  With Christmas music on the boombox, I can make this work!  I started work on the wedding dress sampler and then panicked because Christmas is already the weekend after this. YIKES!  So I put the bride on hold until after January 1st.  Which is fine because she's moving on 12/30 anyway...  I'm sure she's busy.

Here is what I've done so far.  I need to redo the bodice so it's more low cut tho.

Here's what we're shooting for on the skirt.

4) I started a Widow sisterhood group on FB for my part of Iowa and have 12 members so far!  4 of us met at a local hospice grief support group and are a tight knit group now.  No one else was able to get together for our Christmas brunch so just the 4 of us met.  It was a wonderful time.  No one understands certain things like another widow.  These are my tribe.

5) I hosted my side of the family Thanksgiving at a local hall and we had 72 people.  Robb usually did the turkeys, but my cousin Scott stepped up and offered to be "THE" turkey guy from now on.  

It was a wonderful day, but at the same time exhausting emotionally and physically.  Meri and I had a sobbing fest in a back corner of the kitchen during the talent show, where my sisters just joined into a big group hug and cried along with us.  One aunt gave me permission to remarry someday. 

Um...no thank you...

And then I got up early the next day and put together Robb's breakfast casseroles for the traditional "breakfast after Thanksgiving" meal for those relatives who hadn't left town yet.

My aunts car conked out and she has one of my cars until hers get fixed.  I'm told it's today but am not sure.  Hers needed a new engine and she had to get back to Omaha with her husband and daughter.

6) Between me and my awesome sister-in-law, we hosted Robb's side of the family at a different local hall.  That day was exhausting as well but a lot of fun too.  As I helped Cathy unload her car with her family, I noticed a full frozen solid turkey in one of her boxes.  Um Cathy???  Is THIS the turkey we're serving in 2 hours?...  Thankfully it wasn't.  She organized some turkey bowling on the yard of the hall with actual bowling pins and this frozen turkey for the ball.  The kids had a blast although I never saw any of it. DARN!  and NO ONE got pictures of the event...

7) My garage got organized a bit

8) My garage got filled up more with plans for more stuff stored.  Maybe that's my winter project to filter out stuff to give away.  We'll see.  I still have item #3 and 5 bridesmaid dresses to hammer out before June.  So the garage might go by the wayside until then.

It always does...

9) Meri and I are still working out most mornings but today when she got home from it, she called in tears.  She'd just cut her thumb open and there was blood everywhere.  So she drove over to me and I bandaged her up.  Then I called First Nurse to find out what she should do while she ran back home to turn off the bathtub she'd left running.  I'm so glad she lives in the same small town!  She was convinced that she'd need stitches, but after getting her all cleaned up and bandaged and after the call with First Nurse, she might just check with Urgent care later this morning and see about getting a tetanus booster shot.

We're not working out tomorrow but she IS coming over for a rebandaging session and probably breakfast. 

10) The funeral home that handled Robb's send off invited me to an open house today and I had to RSVP.  They have an ornament for us to commemorate Robb!  Not sure if it has his name on it or not but it will be a bittersweet addition to our Christmas tree.  

11) I couldn't find the star that Meri made in kindergarten this year, so after some digging around and an idea from a FB widow group that I belong to, I put Robb's bagpipe cap on top.  It's a little crooked but that's ok.


12) 3 of the toilets that were original with the house all started leaking in the tanks this fall.  A friend replaced the guts of one a month ago and then I called a plumber for the 2nd.  The very day after the 2nd was fixed, I heard the 3rd start refilling every few minutes.  SERIOUSLY?  Those little flaps in the toilets only last for 28 years and have an actual expiration date.  The 4th toilet in our house was replaced at Robb's request a few years after we moved here so I give it 3 more years before it does the same thing.  Checking into a yearly service plan with a plumbing company because cripes.

13) I have been a canning fool lately.  Also found out that Leon doesn't like any of the stuff I'm canning.  Well, he might the chili but he only eats that at Halloween.  I've got canned goods tucked in every nook and cranny of this house.  Jen asks about black beans or stew every now and then so SOMEONE appreciates it!  And I'm finding it pretty handy too.

14) One of Robb's close friends from college died exactly 9 months after Robb did.  He never married, no kids.  My sister and her husband were good friends of his in the Chicago area and they attended the funeral with me.  Us and two other college friends were the youngest people there.  I'm so glad we went!  It would be such a heartbreak to bury one of your own children.  He had been living in Wisconsin and was buried in Iowa so a lot of his friends from Wisconsin weren't able to make it.  We almost didn't hear about it until it was too late.

Dave was a good Christian man.  I know Robb is showing him all the cool places in heaven. :)

15) We're expecting another Derecho wind storm today.  The small generators that can jump start a car OR charge your phone are plugged in.  I got them for Robb last Christmas.  If we lose power again, I think we can plug the fridge and deep freezer into it.  Or at least charge our phones.

16) With the twins gone, the REALLY busy-ness of my life calmed down a bit.  I guess God decided that I had needed a break from my grief.  It worked.  But please don't send any more babies to me right now!!!  I am missing Robb a lot and will the rest of my life.  Having to make all the decisions and payments on things is really tough. Not being able to see him or get him quick on the phone to tell him about all the things is even tougher.  And when I see a picture of him, I remember how his hair felt under my fingers.  That's when it really gets me.  He doesn't live here anymore.

Heaven gained a beautiful soul.

I attended a Grief Share Surviving the Holidays with my widow core friends and it was very helpful.  One of the tips was make a list of all that you want to get done for the holidays and if you decided that something isn't going to get done, mark it off.  If things don't get done, they don't get done. 

And that's ok.

My house is the darkest on the block.  The only lights you see from the road is the leg lamp in the front window.  and that's ok.

Wednesday, April 21, 2021

A Day In the hood

 After Meri and my workout this morning, I headed to the town where our county seat is.  I had an appointment to change the names on my cars and property taxes.  So to kill a little time, I stopped by a car wash and cleaned and vacuumed my car before going through the car wash itself.  My car looks great now!  The gravel road travel is wearing on my cars natural good looks... ;) Yep - it's the blue van with a black hatch.  Gotta have THAT looking good!

So I made it to the court house and waited for my turn to get in.   Did, and then found out that I must have selected the county Recording office instead of the Treasurers office... REALLY?!  So I went back to my car and cried for a bit.  Robb would have known which office handles what...  After calming down, I tried it again online and the website was giving me fits and errors, so I called the office directly and set up an appointment for Friday instead. Whew.

Stopped by the monument company who is working on our grave stone.  Then saw their sign that said by appointment only.  dang.  I called them.  I had seen the little flags marking where Robb's grave was located and wanted to confirm that they were going to center it over both of our graves.  They are.  OH and our stone is in!!  Not carved on yet, but in.  Hopefully seated by Memorial day.  Wouldn't that be nice?

A friend from college stopped by a couple weeks ago and made a point to show me this comic.  Way back in the day when I was dating his roommate and he was dating my best friend, we were at a pizza place and joking about where buffalo wings came from. So this made him laugh and think of that.
His answer had been that you can only hunt them when they're flying low over the Rockies. :)

Stopped by the middle school and dropped off some food pantry items from our church.  The secretary at the school is one of the friends who helped serve at Robb's funeral dinner.  She asked how I'm doing. "It's not a good day.." and I burst into tears again as she hugged me.  She tried to talk me into sticking around and letting her and a co-worker make me laugh again.  :) Isn't she a sweetheart?!  I didn't have time to spend the morning at the middle school though...

I was home and back to work earlier than I had intended.

And as I was typing this, she texted me and said that she'd been thinking of me all morning and wondered if there was anything she and her husband could help me out with.

Whew...  

I will NOT get used to this widow brain/widowhood.

Wednesday, March 31, 2021

McVal's Law

 McVal Law: Anything that hasn't gone wrong for a while most certainly WILL as soon as McVal is in charge of all decisions... 

1) water heater blew.   
    Thankfully it didn't really BLOW UP, but it happened when Maddy was here for Spring Break.  So she helped me clean out the furnace room where the water heater was bubbling at the top nicely...  And even though I was always the one that made the phone calls, I was suddenly flummoxed.  dang.  With my MIL moving out, we just hauled all her things out to the living room that she'd been storing in there and mopped it up with old towels.  
   
   The last time this happened, the water had seeped through the wall and soaked/ruined the carpet in a bedroom.  So at that time, we caulked the floor boards in the furnace room and that saved the day this time! :)  Smart thinking back then folks!

   I made some calls, spent some bucks and we had a new water heater in place within 3 hours of finding out about it. 
   Whew.

2) Car problems
   I had just been visiting Ada, my bestie, at the nursing home.  I went to leave and the van wouldn't start.  REALLY?...  This happened several months ago too.  Robb had set up an appointment for us to take the van in and when we went back to church to jump start it, it started right up without the cables.  So leaving it sit for a few hours fixed it...  We thought, at the time, that because I'd used the power button so that the backseat plug in would work and I'd left it on with it draining things.  So we cancelled the appointment.  But why would the battery charge back up just sitting there?  I'm no mechanic but I don't think that's how it works...  But with my explanation of the power button, I just made sure that it was always turned off.

   That wasn't the case here.  After sitting the car crying for a while, realizing that Robb wasn't there to call, Meri came over and tried to jump start it with me, but that didn't work so she took me home.  Shub went back over with the intent of jump starting it for us and before he did that, he tried to start it.  It fired right up like there were no problems.  hmmm.  Then we took it to our car guy.  It needed an oil change anyway.

   He was able to pull the codes on what the issues were and he recommended I take it to a dealer.  sigh.  shoot.  So I did some research online.  A lot of people were hunting down this mysterious issue and someone's comment suddenly struck a cord.  It only happened on rainy days...  yeah...  It had been a very rainy day here.

   Apparently this car is designed with something that could get wet hanging down near the back tires.  and when you've driven it a bit and it warms up, it can suddenly make the car think that something is wrong with the system and it doesn't start.  My car guy eliminated the starter as a problem and several other things, so I'm guessing that this is the issue.  dang.  So I don't drive the van on a rainy day...  

   Seems to me that it was a rainy fall day when this last happened too.  Finding a pattern might help the situation.  PLUS my BIL is a great car guy and maybe he can research it a bit too and tell my car guy what to fix... ?   Thinking on it.

3) Money issues
I found out that I need to pay off a loan on Robb's 401K before rolling it over to my IRA...
   yay...  Just one more big expense that I hadn't planned on.  It'll all shake out...  It's just frustrating.  My little nest egg is dwindling.  BUT at least my IRA will be intact and ready for when I retire.  
  dang.  I'm getting old aren't I?

4) More Car problems
Jen's car broke a belt so between her, me and a neighbor guy, we replaced it, but then found out that the idler pulley was shot.  Who knew??!!!  I guess the neighbor guy...  She and I picked one up and will tackle it again as soon as the wind dies down and it's not so chilly here...  Maybe get him involved again if we need to.  So I'm learning new things...

I visited Robb's grave on a walk this weekend and told him all about everything.
He gets me...

Sorry - there are a lot of pauses...  But that's what I need right now anyway...

Thursday, March 25, 2021

Happy As Can Be Birthday!

 Robb's birthday was Monday and his favorite cousin sent money to me to celebrate in a grand fashion.  He and his wife are very generous.  We used it all up!

So Meri and I planned a day trip to go visit all of Robb's favorite places and a couple of mine, as well as visit where we first met and where we were married.

After stopping at Robb's grave and wishing a happy heavenly birthday, 

we drove a few hours to see my parents grave where Meri and I sang a hymn in their honor.  Then we sat and remembered things and cried a bit.

After that we drove to my hometown just over an hour away.  We decided to wait until hometown to eat lunch because no one in Nebraska wears masks.  Hometown is on the other side of the river in Iowa and hometown still has a mask mandate.  Meri felt more comfortable with that so as soon as we got to town, we stopped at a local candy shop and bought sweatshirts and hoodies all around.  Then stopped at another locale to get a couple other non-candy related hoodies for the menfolk.

So that was all before lunch which was around 2pm.  We were not exactly starving.  I HAD eaten a whole box of hot and spicy cheezits on the drive.  

Then we stopped at Robb's favorite pizza joint for a few pizzas to bring home with us.  Then with them in the back seat, we stopped at our old college and I told her stories about the commons and various places around campus.  Here's where the house Robb lived in used to be.  Here's where I was editor of the yearbook and now it's a bookstore.  Here's where Kim and I ate lunch while we watched Santa Barbara until our afternoon classes.  Here's where the bookstore USED to be and here is my mailbox that if you twisted the knob JUST right, it would open without having to know the combination.  Here's where we had our wedding reception.  

I realized I hadn't bought a sweatshirt for myself so I did here.  One that didn't have the new logo and mascot on it. Just the name of the college.

Then we drove about a mile away to the park where we were married and I told her that I'd tripped on my dress getting into the horse drawn carriage and started falling backwards.  

Robb caught me with his hand on my butt.  And then we rode back to campus past his car parked in a lot where all could see.  It was supposed to be hidden so no one would decorate it.

It's right there guys...

Then we hightailed it back home with the pizzas.  It started raining and so when we got back to town, we stopped at Robb's grave and poured Diet Dr Pepper on it as well as a half box of Hot Tamales candies.  His favorites.  The ants will love my husband, but not as much as I do.

We were hoping to sing there too but with the rain, we couldn't.

We'd been hoping to see my sisters and brother in home town while there, but time was cut too short and if we only saw one, that would cause hard feelings.  So oh well.  Just a quick round trip.

Ryan and the rest of the gang waited at the house for the pizzas and we had a proper birthday party for Robb there.  No cake, but that's ok.

Happy birthday my dear!  I miss you so much!  I'm planning a night to just watch home movies and remember everything I've forgotten and cry.

Wednesday, March 24, 2021

Making New Memories and what to do with the old ones

 FYI: I found the key bit sitting on the threshold of my office a day later.  Whew!

Maddy arrived a week ago Saturday!!!!  It's been a whirlwind of activity since.  As soon as she got here, she cleaned some strawberries while I made coleslaw, then we went over to Meri's for a cookout with her and Shub.  

Maddy brought Daisy with her and Daisy and I are BFFs now.  So is Daisy and Shub's cat, Nugget.

It was a crazy week.  When isn't it?  Maddy, Meri and I worked in the garage and all over the house all week.  When I was working, Maddy reorganized cupboards and we had a bet on what the oldest expiration date would be on the food she was pitching.  2007 holds the record so far.  Some of those cabinets hadn't been touched in years.  

On Wednesday, St. Patrick's Day, Maddy, Meri and I worked feverishly in the kitchen to prepare all of Robb's favorite Irish foods so we could celebrate with my bestie's husband that night.  

We got the dinner done by 5:15 and Maddy ran a couple containers full of food over to Ada at the nursing home.

OH!!!  We're allowed in the nursing home now!!!!  

The inside is SO much warmer than sitting outside the window!

You have to do a quick screening when you get there, but we were SO happy to be able to in and see her now!  She's so relieved too.  Maddy and I took her pizza for lunch that Monday and she said it was the best pizza ever.  And really if you're just eating nursing home pizza for over a year, anything would be, but later that week, I took her a blizzard from the DQ too.  She'll gain so much weight in the next few weeks!

The food and company that night was great.  Maddy and Shub played Snakes and Ladders with Mike after dinner in honor of Robb and Ireland.  We had bought it in Ireland 16 years ago.  Basically Chutes and Ladders, but you slide down snake backs. :)

We sorted our things in the garage and on Thursday, Robb's siblings arrived to go through their mom's things that had been sitting for 15+ years untouched.  It was a painful day, so I won't get into the details but the dumpster (4 times the size I was expecting) is heaping full and another load sitting in the garage that maybe I'll take down to the dump today.  

In the meanwhile, I found a wagon kit that could be pulled behind a mower.  It was brand new and not put together for about 20 years.  All the parts were there and wouldn't that be handy for when we're moving up Grandma's things from the bottom of the hill?!  So Meri, Shub and I started putting it together last night.  Got part of it done before Meri remembered she had a rug being delivered last night and it was raining.  She got home in time to rescue it from the rain, mostly.  It's beautiful.  The wagon will wait.  It's very patient...

On Saturday morning, before Maddy left to go back home, she, Meri and I went through all of Robb's clothes.  Nothing is being pitched.  They and Ryan each have a few shirts, sweatshirts, etc each and there are tons more.  They're all packed up now and someday I'll start making things out of them.  Memory pillows, quilts, nothing will be wasted.

More tomorrow on how we celebrated Robb's birthday.

Tuesday, March 9, 2021

Low Expectations

 I was taking too long to eat the delicious breakfast that Meri made for me so we cancelled the workout and went for a walk instead.  We walked out to the cemetery and noticed that the dirt was settling weird at Robb's grave.  Not sure if we need to do something to level it out or if the cemetery people do that...  I'll contact the gal in charge of it. She's a friend.

We got almost 4000 steps in this morning alone!  (I added more after getting home)(low goals because I sit at a desk all day and live a fairly sedentary lifestyle...) 


Whew. And I got all 20 heart points on my watch this morning when if I don't exercise, it might be 1 for the whole day...  It must have been our talking because we didn't run or anything strenuous at all other than walking. 

Ooh!  I just heard back from my friend and it is NOT my responsibility.  The cemetery will take care of that. Whew!

The garage is coming along.  Meri took 3 boxes home with her.  I had found a box of Barbie clothes and a big box of antiques from when Meri worked at an antique mall.  People would just give her stuff when they shut down their booths.  She picked out what she wanted from the box and left the rest.  I'll make an executive decision on the rest later today or when Maddy comes this weekend.

Will probably make another trip to the dump today with more junk.  It WILL get cleaned up... 

oh yes it will...

no pictures were taken of my garage at this point but the images are seared into Sluggy's eyes as she has seen and lived to tell the tale.

Monday, March 8, 2021

Journeys in my garage and beyond

 Under the gun now...  My siblings-in-law and my girls have organized a day to sort out all of my MILs things that we've stored in the garage for the last 13 years.  

While I'm GLAD...  I'm wondering how much of our stuff was thrown on top of her stack.  When we asked her to move in with us and Robb and I bought this house to fit us all, we put all her years of "many times moved" baggage into a storage unit nearby.  We had to visit the unit several times following that to find old taxes, various things and a few bits of furniture that she needed.  But it sat in that storage unit for 9 years.  

If you do the math, we realized that if we weren't paying for that unit every month, we could have bought a car for Ryan when he turned 16...  hmmm  Like we would have saved the money for that???  It makes you think about things though when you put it into perspective.  Robb always had a knack for putting things into perspective.  So Robb and I moved it all to our garage and we've parked in the driveway ever since.

No big.  We have ice scrapers...

She started going through the boxes at the beginning but while sorting, reminiscing and rubbing her eyes because of the memories, she got an eye infection from all the gook on the items AND she wanted to save everything.  So it all got put on hold.  again and again.  and then it became "out of sight, out of mind."

So after Meri and my first workout in just over 3 weeks, I spent about 45 minutes sorting some boxes of my own. Pulling my MIL's things off my shelves and getting mine put on them.  I'm trying to get all her things in the one area.  

In the process, I'll downsize my stuff.  I guess I needed a kick in the butt to do this.  I've got about 1.5 weeks and Maddy will be coming this weekend for the next week to help. Yay!  She can go through her college things!  maybe.

So far, I've found a couple pictures that I hadn't seen in so many years.  That's Robb and Ryan.


  They must have been pulled out of a box at some point and left on the shelf for me to find at such a time as this.

I KNEW I had a picture of the Calvin and Hobbs wall in our last house somewhere.  It pains me to know that the buyers later painted over it...  Shoot.  It was SO cool in Ryan's room.  My BIL painted it for us the weekend we moved in.


Robb and I knew that our kid would be just like Calvin and we weren't far off.

Meri and I started our first Griefshare support group meeting last night.  I think this is going to be good for us.  However now I have homework...  shoot...  I thought once I graduated college, all that would be behind me.  nope.  

And it's homework that will make me cry...  So just like college! :)

So the journey through the shadow of death continues.

LinkWithin

Related Posts with Thumbnails